356KM AGAIN
Will be spending Christmas with my family in Singapore.
Happy Holidays.
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
HOW'S LIFE?
The diving trip to Pangkor is cancelled.
They changed the date to the weekend that I'm supposed to return home for Christmas and I chose to celebrate this festive season with my family over schools of fish and colorful corals.
I know Cliff is upset; he's taking his time to get over it till Wai Meng proposed the Mabul trip in April. Without any hesitation my fella committed himself by booking the flight for two pax, a decision that wasn't being offered for discussion.
So I HAVE to go; despite the disturbing fact that I'm lacking in proper certification and poor confidence in diving.
Two weeks ago we have resolved our grey area by talking about my lacklustre interest in scuba diving against his. Ever since the Tioman, he has this immense force to dive, dive, dive and achieve great heights to become divemaster, or even diving instructor. My only motivation is to purge away my fear of the great ocean and recently I begin to perceive it as more to doing it for his sake.
We all know how passion drives an individual to change.
Back to where I have started; since Charlie arranged otherwise, Cliff is contented with the Mabul trip that promises great varieties of fish, corals and mountiful dive adventures. I'm still not sure about myself because I'm currently in 'neutral buoyancy'. The only worrying factor is the amount of money that will be spent next year. We are supposed to travel to Korea, climb KK mountain, visit his sister in Germany.. all to be accomplished by July. Then came the proposals of diving in Lang Tengah, Mabul and anywhere that is ranked as dive site. My concern is the diminishing savings in my SG bank that's being used for my SG home maintenance. Once it's all gone I would have to fork out my own salary and send it back on a monthly basis.
The other day he compared about his sister's dowry against my mom's casual suggestion (on my dowry IF we gonna marry) and be it mine or the actual fact, I could sense his slight depression. Yes we all know how much SGD6000 means in ringgit currency. However I have no wish to wear the wedding band anytime now or in the near future. I could tell him, right on that spot, to rest easy and pursue his personal indulgences but somehow words failed me and I left it as that.
Just like what Marwan had asked; to seek life or to make lives - to travel or to try for a baby? I advised him the latter because he's happily married for almost 2 years. But I always wonder if I would have done the same, because my life is full of uncertainities. To-date the only risk I took was leaving my beloved family behind in order to seek a possibility, which has changed my whole world of perspections from the day I live with him. I grew to know myself better and have been gaining a lot more knowledge on couplehood. We're trying to cope with each other's shortcomings.. yet somehow there's a distance between us that can't be bridged across.
To love others, you must first love yourself - I do; but not without doubts.
Life is made up by a sum of all your choices. What are you doing?
The diving trip to Pangkor is cancelled.
They changed the date to the weekend that I'm supposed to return home for Christmas and I chose to celebrate this festive season with my family over schools of fish and colorful corals.
I know Cliff is upset; he's taking his time to get over it till Wai Meng proposed the Mabul trip in April. Without any hesitation my fella committed himself by booking the flight for two pax, a decision that wasn't being offered for discussion.
So I HAVE to go; despite the disturbing fact that I'm lacking in proper certification and poor confidence in diving.
Two weeks ago we have resolved our grey area by talking about my lacklustre interest in scuba diving against his. Ever since the Tioman, he has this immense force to dive, dive, dive and achieve great heights to become divemaster, or even diving instructor. My only motivation is to purge away my fear of the great ocean and recently I begin to perceive it as more to doing it for his sake.
We all know how passion drives an individual to change.
Back to where I have started; since Charlie arranged otherwise, Cliff is contented with the Mabul trip that promises great varieties of fish, corals and mountiful dive adventures. I'm still not sure about myself because I'm currently in 'neutral buoyancy'. The only worrying factor is the amount of money that will be spent next year. We are supposed to travel to Korea, climb KK mountain, visit his sister in Germany.. all to be accomplished by July. Then came the proposals of diving in Lang Tengah, Mabul and anywhere that is ranked as dive site. My concern is the diminishing savings in my SG bank that's being used for my SG home maintenance. Once it's all gone I would have to fork out my own salary and send it back on a monthly basis.
The other day he compared about his sister's dowry against my mom's casual suggestion (on my dowry IF we gonna marry) and be it mine or the actual fact, I could sense his slight depression. Yes we all know how much SGD6000 means in ringgit currency. However I have no wish to wear the wedding band anytime now or in the near future. I could tell him, right on that spot, to rest easy and pursue his personal indulgences but somehow words failed me and I left it as that.
Just like what Marwan had asked; to seek life or to make lives - to travel or to try for a baby? I advised him the latter because he's happily married for almost 2 years. But I always wonder if I would have done the same, because my life is full of uncertainities. To-date the only risk I took was leaving my beloved family behind in order to seek a possibility, which has changed my whole world of perspections from the day I live with him. I grew to know myself better and have been gaining a lot more knowledge on couplehood. We're trying to cope with each other's shortcomings.. yet somehow there's a distance between us that can't be bridged across.
To love others, you must first love yourself - I do; but not without doubts.
Life is made up by a sum of all your choices. What are you doing?
Thursday, November 10, 2005
SHOO
Am in one of those foulfuckin' moods.
I'm sick of soft-packed menthols.
Visibly irritated by citibank's incompetence.
Getting tired of greeting dumb-asses in the office.
Pissed at maggots rubbing michelle's back.
Am hating everything now and I swear I gonna slaughter anyone that steps on my tail.
Watch me.
Am in one of those foulfuckin' moods.
I'm sick of soft-packed menthols.
Visibly irritated by citibank's incompetence.
Getting tired of greeting dumb-asses in the office.
Pissed at maggots rubbing michelle's back.
Am hating everything now and I swear I gonna slaughter anyone that steps on my tail.
Watch me.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
UPDATES
Bought these recently.. beadybeads... I like them!
She's my cousin and in reality she's a little jappie. Full of energy and bubbles she's never afraid to break the ice. We were in one of my many cousins' wedding (unfortunately it's a shotgun's) and most of us were restless. My jappie started to holler up and down the tables nosily and I managed to snatch her for in-betweens :-)
Monday, October 24, 2005
SPLISH-SPLASH
I'm back without the PADI Open Water certificate.
Instead I was given the PADI Scuba Dive because I couldn't withstand the cold temperature in the water.
What's the difference between these two?
PADI OW gives you the privilege of diving as deep as 18m with a buddy independently whereas PADI SD only allows you to dive to a maximum of 12m with the presence of a divemaster.
It's a shame that I failed to make the mark. However I managed to overcome my phobia and just when I thought I have achieved my personal velocity, my physical disability killed the joy.
I went through all the theories, grasped the general rules and techniques of diving... but it was a different story in confined water. I struggled with my buoyancy and tried my best to control my breathing through the regulator. It's not easy to breathe with your mouth all the time, especially when the air you breathed was limited and artificial. Moreover you were few metres deep underwater with a possibility of drowning, should you screw-up your equipment.
On the first dive, I shivered so badly that breathing started to get irregular and my pee just couldn't release out to warm my body. When we came up, I was given sharp pointers by instructor on how to get it right for the second dive. By then my ears were full of seawater that I couldn't think straight. Blame it on me, as I didn't equalize properly when we descended. The second day I braced myself for the lesson and performed pretty well... until coldness seeped in. I started to shiver and it affected my buoyancy. I guess it irritated Buda (instructor) and he cut short the dive. During the break he politely suggested that I should stop and be certified as PADI Scuba Diver. What can I say? He pointed out that I had hindered the progress of his modules and Clifford was diving like a pro.
So I gave up and Cliff completed the course without a hitch.
Even though I was discouraged/disheartened/disappointed, I congratulated myself on the success of diminishing my phobia. It was a good experience. Looking at the fish at 8m underwater with my mask was like admiring them through an aquarium. I saw jellyfish, sea cucumbers, weird-looking corals, zebrafish, rainbow fish and farms of sea urchins. Though I didn't get to see larger fish I think this is my new beginning. I want to see more, I yearn to swim with the turtles, I wish I can touch anemones...
But I'm still not comfortable in the water world and I have lost huge amount of confidence in diving. I was ostracized by Buda and Drew with fake smiles and cold demeanor. Nothing could describe my feelings during the last two days of my stay. Buda made it worse with his sarcasms and I REALLY DETEST HIM.
In any way, Cliff encourages me to give it another try by engaging Charlie's help. And never again will I return to Buda for the course, this fat botak irks me with his larger-than-life boostings and incessant self-indulgence.
Diving aside, we enjoyed our week's stay in Tioman. We miss the sound of seawaves lapping the shores, the velvety clear blue sea, the beautiful sunsets and lovely cats. We got up close and personal with some of the kuchings and named them as 'Gingerbread', 'ShortBlack', 'TomCat', 'Ginger', 'CactusTail', 'HotMama', 'Blackie'. They occupied most of our free time.. as there isn't any nightlife in Panuba. It's a private beach and reaching to other villages requires sea taxis (inconsistent availiability still perplexes me) or a minimum of an hour's trekking in the dense jungle. In Panuba we also witnessed the appearances of snake and monitor lizard. For city dwellers like me, it was quite an encounter that you can't compare to those in the zoo :)
shortblack and gingerbread
I'm back without the PADI Open Water certificate.
Instead I was given the PADI Scuba Dive because I couldn't withstand the cold temperature in the water.
What's the difference between these two?
PADI OW gives you the privilege of diving as deep as 18m with a buddy independently whereas PADI SD only allows you to dive to a maximum of 12m with the presence of a divemaster.
It's a shame that I failed to make the mark. However I managed to overcome my phobia and just when I thought I have achieved my personal velocity, my physical disability killed the joy.
I went through all the theories, grasped the general rules and techniques of diving... but it was a different story in confined water. I struggled with my buoyancy and tried my best to control my breathing through the regulator. It's not easy to breathe with your mouth all the time, especially when the air you breathed was limited and artificial. Moreover you were few metres deep underwater with a possibility of drowning, should you screw-up your equipment.
On the first dive, I shivered so badly that breathing started to get irregular and my pee just couldn't release out to warm my body. When we came up, I was given sharp pointers by instructor on how to get it right for the second dive. By then my ears were full of seawater that I couldn't think straight. Blame it on me, as I didn't equalize properly when we descended. The second day I braced myself for the lesson and performed pretty well... until coldness seeped in. I started to shiver and it affected my buoyancy. I guess it irritated Buda (instructor) and he cut short the dive. During the break he politely suggested that I should stop and be certified as PADI Scuba Diver. What can I say? He pointed out that I had hindered the progress of his modules and Clifford was diving like a pro.
So I gave up and Cliff completed the course without a hitch.
Even though I was discouraged/disheartened/disappointed, I congratulated myself on the success of diminishing my phobia. It was a good experience. Looking at the fish at 8m underwater with my mask was like admiring them through an aquarium. I saw jellyfish, sea cucumbers, weird-looking corals, zebrafish, rainbow fish and farms of sea urchins. Though I didn't get to see larger fish I think this is my new beginning. I want to see more, I yearn to swim with the turtles, I wish I can touch anemones...
But I'm still not comfortable in the water world and I have lost huge amount of confidence in diving. I was ostracized by Buda and Drew with fake smiles and cold demeanor. Nothing could describe my feelings during the last two days of my stay. Buda made it worse with his sarcasms and I REALLY DETEST HIM.
In any way, Cliff encourages me to give it another try by engaging Charlie's help. And never again will I return to Buda for the course, this fat botak irks me with his larger-than-life boostings and incessant self-indulgence.
Diving aside, we enjoyed our week's stay in Tioman. We miss the sound of seawaves lapping the shores, the velvety clear blue sea, the beautiful sunsets and lovely cats. We got up close and personal with some of the kuchings and named them as 'Gingerbread', 'ShortBlack', 'TomCat', 'Ginger', 'CactusTail', 'HotMama', 'Blackie'. They occupied most of our free time.. as there isn't any nightlife in Panuba. It's a private beach and reaching to other villages requires sea taxis (inconsistent availiability still perplexes me) or a minimum of an hour's trekking in the dense jungle. In Panuba we also witnessed the appearances of snake and monitor lizard. For city dwellers like me, it was quite an encounter that you can't compare to those in the zoo :)
shortblack and gingerbread
In one way or another, the whole diving adventure marred the vacation. But I'm still thankful to be given the chance to explore the underwater world that I'm always afraid of.
Thus, it's...
A for efforts and F for fucked-up certificate
:P
(more photos will be uploaded to online album.. soon)
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Monday, October 03, 2005
SEE NO EVIL/HEAR NO EVIL/SPEAK NO EVIL
It's time to retreat from the dance floors.
I'm painfully aware of the weird looks and disapproving stares from my colleagues. This time it happened in Soda club and I might have crossed the line of modesty.
My colleague was drunk and he targeted me as his dance partner for the whole night. I had a couple of heavy bottoms-up and admittedly, was tipsy. I shouldn't have dirty-danced with those fellas, including that young friend of Mabel's.
Yes, it's disrespectful to Clifford.
(sorry baby, sorry sorry sorry)
He only voiced out when we were on the way to Carrefour.
24 hours after the saga.
Honestly, I thought he was okay with it.
To me, it was only a dance. I had no ulterior motives towards those guys. If you dance well, I will definitely spice things up by countering your sways and jiggers, shake the booties and rock the floor.
Of course I didn't expect the dance partners to over-react by a yard.
i like to see it as being liberal, but this is subjective
So yeah, still, it was my fault for the scenes I had created in front of him.
Maybe I worked too hard and played too little. Whenever a chance comes along for me to mix the music with my soul, I tend to put too much efforts in it.. to the expense of Cliff's feelings.
Maybe I want an identity. I have been feeling shadowed for so long and the inner self starts to surface to prove myself as an individual.
i know it shouldn't be done in this way
Maybe it's just me. I love to dance but most of the time Cliff was mingling with his friends, instead of hitting the dance floors.
I understand my proximity with dance partners was way too close to be comfortable, and it became an eyesore to my colleagues. Team lead was staring, the gals were frowning and guys were bitching about me. And I also know all these will carry forward to the office where stories, likely to be twisted, will spread.. how vampy I was, how slutty I danced and how cheeky I was. It may affect my working relationship with some of them but worrying will do nothing to salvage the current situation.
Let them be. Let me be.
Next time I will keep my maggotmouth tightly shut and refrain from dancing with any of you.
Eclipse of a socialite.
haha.. wtf.
It's time to retreat from the dance floors.
I'm painfully aware of the weird looks and disapproving stares from my colleagues. This time it happened in Soda club and I might have crossed the line of modesty.
My colleague was drunk and he targeted me as his dance partner for the whole night. I had a couple of heavy bottoms-up and admittedly, was tipsy. I shouldn't have dirty-danced with those fellas, including that young friend of Mabel's.
Yes, it's disrespectful to Clifford.
(sorry baby, sorry sorry sorry)
He only voiced out when we were on the way to Carrefour.
24 hours after the saga.
Honestly, I thought he was okay with it.
To me, it was only a dance. I had no ulterior motives towards those guys. If you dance well, I will definitely spice things up by countering your sways and jiggers, shake the booties and rock the floor.
Of course I didn't expect the dance partners to over-react by a yard.
i like to see it as being liberal, but this is subjective
So yeah, still, it was my fault for the scenes I had created in front of him.
Maybe I worked too hard and played too little. Whenever a chance comes along for me to mix the music with my soul, I tend to put too much efforts in it.. to the expense of Cliff's feelings.
Maybe I want an identity. I have been feeling shadowed for so long and the inner self starts to surface to prove myself as an individual.
i know it shouldn't be done in this way
Maybe it's just me. I love to dance but most of the time Cliff was mingling with his friends, instead of hitting the dance floors.
I understand my proximity with dance partners was way too close to be comfortable, and it became an eyesore to my colleagues. Team lead was staring, the gals were frowning and guys were bitching about me. And I also know all these will carry forward to the office where stories, likely to be twisted, will spread.. how vampy I was, how slutty I danced and how cheeky I was. It may affect my working relationship with some of them but worrying will do nothing to salvage the current situation.
Let them be. Let me be.
Next time I will keep my maggotmouth tightly shut and refrain from dancing with any of you.
Eclipse of a socialite.
haha.. wtf.
Saturday, October 01, 2005
ANOTHER RETARD
BtgAriff
emmm hi how are u babe.emmm so bored.let have fun and enjoy toghter.let try my lip to kiss ur both lip.emmm let try my hardnhuge rod come inside u.i love to make u wet and hot.iwant to kiss and lick ur pussy honey.emmm let me rub and kiss ur breaast and ur iti.emmm let ride my hard cock .enjoy it honey.u will love it so much.come to me and have fun toghter
Ain't gonna waste my time.
Absolutely no reply to slugs.
Delete without hesitation.
BtgAriff
emmm hi how are u babe.emmm so bored.let have fun and enjoy toghter.let try my lip to kiss ur both lip.emmm let try my hardnhuge rod come inside u.i love to make u wet and hot.iwant to kiss and lick ur pussy honey.emmm let me rub and kiss ur breaast and ur iti.emmm let ride my hard cock .enjoy it honey.u will love it so much.come to me and have fun toghter
Ain't gonna waste my time.
Absolutely no reply to slugs.
Delete without hesitation.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Potong Stim
Last saturday it was Passion again.
But I brought my cousin along :D
Didn't know it was such fun to dance with a relative and I was amused by those men hungered after her. Especially when one of the peeps asked for her number discreetly. Oh yeah it has to be discreet because I will crush them to pops if any of them lays a finger on her. Especially from those PEEPS.
Reached home in the morning and both of us started to get really itchy. We were fiddling on the sofa for eternity before he got up to switch off the lights, close the curtains while I cleared the cushions for wider space. That was when I saw gold.
Tiger shat on my RM$2500 sofa.
Half a dozen brownies were lying comfortably behind the cushion, waiting to be hatched.
We just stared at the spot, motionless.
Our raunchy moment came to a cruel halt.
He picked them up with plastic bag while I sanitized the area with trusty FeBreeze. Wiped the area, dumped the cushions, washed our hands and gave some harsh words to the culprit.
Nonetheless, we still decided to carry on with our kinky project. I climbed on top of him and began to undress with great deliberation. With a wild look I started to -censored-censored-censored-
...
I only want to emphasize the painful truth of having pets in couplehood.
Last saturday it was Passion again.
But I brought my cousin along :D
Didn't know it was such fun to dance with a relative and I was amused by those men hungered after her. Especially when one of the peeps asked for her number discreetly. Oh yeah it has to be discreet because I will crush them to pops if any of them lays a finger on her. Especially from those PEEPS.
Reached home in the morning and both of us started to get really itchy. We were fiddling on the sofa for eternity before he got up to switch off the lights, close the curtains while I cleared the cushions for wider space. That was when I saw gold.
Tiger shat on my RM$2500 sofa.
Half a dozen brownies were lying comfortably behind the cushion, waiting to be hatched.
We just stared at the spot, motionless.
Our raunchy moment came to a cruel halt.
He picked them up with plastic bag while I sanitized the area with trusty FeBreeze. Wiped the area, dumped the cushions, washed our hands and gave some harsh words to the culprit.
Nonetheless, we still decided to carry on with our kinky project. I climbed on top of him and began to undress with great deliberation. With a wild look I started to -censored-censored-censored-
...
I only want to emphasize the painful truth of having pets in couplehood.
Friday, September 23, 2005
Apa?
I was telling my galfriend about malay language.
Bahasa Melayu, to be politically correct.
It has always been an amusing lesson. I can't run my tongue from 1 to 10 and my pronounciation sucks.
Below are two incidents that made me remember the specific words by hard.
[Scene 1: Instant Messaging With Colleague]
Ms Quirk: Hey, how shall I tell the user that this can't be done?
Thomas: Just escalate it to Helpdesk. They will know what to do.
Ms Quirk: Oh okie! Kasih.
(no reply for 5 minutes)
Thomas: Yes lover.
(stunned for 30 seconds)
Ms Quirk: Huh? Haha, lover your head.
Thomas: You know kasih means lover, right?
(still blur like hippo)
Ms Quirk: Err, is it? I thought it's a short form for terima kasih?
Thomas: Haha, there's no short form for that la.
(wide-eyed and embarrassed)
Ms Quirk: Arh, okie. Err.. haha. Right right. Ahem.
[Scene 2: Mamak - Supper Time]
Ah Neh: Boss, minum?
(few of them ordered with smooth melayu slang)
Ms Quirk: Limau panas, gurang manis.
(feeling proud of my newly acquired malay words)
Ah Neh: Makan?
Ms Quirk: I want maggie goreng - besar, and telur kerbau.
(then lighted up a cig and crossed my leg, sense of sophistication)
Cliff: A'bang, mata kerbau satu.
(he pointed me to ah neh while the rest broke into guffaws)
(me, with ocean deep's quizzical look)
Ms Quirk: What la?
Cliff: telur kerbau, when translated, means cow's balls. Understand?
(Uh-oh, I did it again. In front of my colleagues)
Ms Quirk: But mata kerbau will mean sun's balls then. That's not right!
(furiously trying to win back my pride)
Cliff: But ah nehs understand it as sunny-side up, so speak properly next time.
Ms Quirk: ....
(dropped the cig and looked elsewhere)
By the way, limau panas is directly translated as hot manners in mandarin.
And that's my favourite drink.
I was telling my galfriend about malay language.
Bahasa Melayu, to be politically correct.
It has always been an amusing lesson. I can't run my tongue from 1 to 10 and my pronounciation sucks.
Below are two incidents that made me remember the specific words by hard.
[Scene 1: Instant Messaging With Colleague]
Ms Quirk: Hey, how shall I tell the user that this can't be done?
Thomas: Just escalate it to Helpdesk. They will know what to do.
Ms Quirk: Oh okie! Kasih.
(no reply for 5 minutes)
Thomas: Yes lover.
(stunned for 30 seconds)
Ms Quirk: Huh? Haha, lover your head.
Thomas: You know kasih means lover, right?
(still blur like hippo)
Ms Quirk: Err, is it? I thought it's a short form for terima kasih?
Thomas: Haha, there's no short form for that la.
(wide-eyed and embarrassed)
Ms Quirk: Arh, okie. Err.. haha. Right right. Ahem.
[Scene 2: Mamak - Supper Time]
Ah Neh: Boss, minum?
(few of them ordered with smooth melayu slang)
Ms Quirk: Limau panas, gurang manis.
(feeling proud of my newly acquired malay words)
Ah Neh: Makan?
Ms Quirk: I want maggie goreng - besar, and telur kerbau.
(then lighted up a cig and crossed my leg, sense of sophistication)
Cliff: A'bang, mata kerbau satu.
(he pointed me to ah neh while the rest broke into guffaws)
(me, with ocean deep's quizzical look)
Ms Quirk: What la?
Cliff: telur kerbau, when translated, means cow's balls. Understand?
(Uh-oh, I did it again. In front of my colleagues)
Ms Quirk: But mata kerbau will mean sun's balls then. That's not right!
(furiously trying to win back my pride)
Cliff: But ah nehs understand it as sunny-side up, so speak properly next time.
Ms Quirk: ....
(dropped the cig and looked elsewhere)
By the way, limau panas is directly translated as hot manners in mandarin.
And that's my favourite drink.
Thursday, September 15, 2005
BROKEN WINGS
Just got news : Cliff's friends have often joked that I'm tying him down.
His reaction? - Silence.
Not that I expect him to defend, but the real question is WHY IS THERE SUCH A JOKE AND WHY HAS IT BECOME A FREQUENT TOPIC?
I learnt that expectations can make and break a life. Even in relationships, I'm still learning how to let go on issues that are in binds.
I hate to explain myself in order to clear my name, because almost everything can be judged as subjectical perception.
I took some time to reflect...
no, I am not restricting him to anything.
It all boils down to daily routine, isn't it?
Look, I dun have a car - not even a valid local driving licence.
Thus he has to fetch and send me to and fro, 5 days per week.
My friends live in Singapore and I did not manage to hook up with anyone who can always go out with me. Maybe not yet. So I have to hang out with him and sometimes with his friends.
Does anyone know that I'm living under the identity of 'his girlfriend' rather than my individuality? Does anyone understand how lost I feel?
Enough of my ramblings, it just doesn't serve any purpose.
I do not want him to become the butt of losers' jokes, so I shall begin to do things on my own - as much as I can.
Mercy.
Just got news : Cliff's friends have often joked that I'm tying him down.
His reaction? - Silence.
Not that I expect him to defend, but the real question is WHY IS THERE SUCH A JOKE AND WHY HAS IT BECOME A FREQUENT TOPIC?
I learnt that expectations can make and break a life. Even in relationships, I'm still learning how to let go on issues that are in binds.
I hate to explain myself in order to clear my name, because almost everything can be judged as subjectical perception.
I took some time to reflect...
no, I am not restricting him to anything.
It all boils down to daily routine, isn't it?
Look, I dun have a car - not even a valid local driving licence.
Thus he has to fetch and send me to and fro, 5 days per week.
My friends live in Singapore and I did not manage to hook up with anyone who can always go out with me. Maybe not yet. So I have to hang out with him and sometimes with his friends.
Does anyone know that I'm living under the identity of 'his girlfriend' rather than my individuality? Does anyone understand how lost I feel?
Enough of my ramblings, it just doesn't serve any purpose.
I do not want him to become the butt of losers' jokes, so I shall begin to do things on my own - as much as I can.
Mercy.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
DISMEMBERED
Alright peeps, here's one of the photos taken during company's dinner and dance. This particular photo is the only one that I looked slightly 'better'.
Sigh.
In fact I scowled at every photos!
I looked like cowdung. Dunno what was wrong with my eyes, so retarded!
My hair - centered parting... damn butchie!
And my blush, WRONGLY PLACED!
wtf wtf.
Now you get to see my top.. man, I used the whole box of TopShop double-sided tapes just to cover all the loops and holes.
Yeah yeah yeah, if only I'm well-endowed to have full B cups.
IF ONLY, okay?!
I refuse to display another photo that showed my sandals. I REFUSE.
It's so humiliating!!
Oh sharddup, people!
BLEAH!
(recently discovered blogger has finally allowed us to post pictures with a click of an icon. woohoo!)
Alright peeps, here's one of the photos taken during company's dinner and dance. This particular photo is the only one that I looked slightly 'better'.
Sigh.
In fact I scowled at every photos!
I looked like cowdung. Dunno what was wrong with my eyes, so retarded!
My hair - centered parting... damn butchie!
And my blush, WRONGLY PLACED!
wtf wtf.
Now you get to see my top.. man, I used the whole box of TopShop double-sided tapes just to cover all the loops and holes.
Yeah yeah yeah, if only I'm well-endowed to have full B cups.
IF ONLY, okay?!
I refuse to display another photo that showed my sandals. I REFUSE.
It's so humiliating!!
Oh sharddup, people!
BLEAH!
(recently discovered blogger has finally allowed us to post pictures with a click of an icon. woohoo!)
Saturday, September 10, 2005
MY BLING
Changed my navel stud last Saturday. This is the stud my bitches bought for my birthday, exactly on the day I had my pierce.
Isn't it wicked?
I love my bitches. They're full of styles. Heheh.
On the other hand, my urge to pierce my tongue is becoming intense by each day.
I get high whenever I fantasize my tongue plays with the jewel. I'm so horny for it!
And if this isn't enough, I'm planning to hurt myself with 40 needles. I'm ready for it. I want a tattoo.. no, I want tattooS.
Pain is good.
Pain is a form of kinky addiction.
Yearning for it :D
Changed my navel stud last Saturday. This is the stud my bitches bought for my birthday, exactly on the day I had my pierce.
Isn't it wicked?
I love my bitches. They're full of styles. Heheh.
On the other hand, my urge to pierce my tongue is becoming intense by each day.
I get high whenever I fantasize my tongue plays with the jewel. I'm so horny for it!
And if this isn't enough, I'm planning to hurt myself with 40 needles. I'm ready for it. I want a tattoo.. no, I want tattooS.
Pain is good.
Pain is a form of kinky addiction.
Yearning for it :D
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
MERDEKA
Happy birthday, land of chaos.
I'm working from 3pm to 12mn. Normal commuters are out there celebrating this aged event, drinking, dancing, throwing confetti, fucking, fighting.. etc
And I'm in the office shoving off loads of shit in Outlook.
The pathetic shift-workers were so deprived of all the above that we stood outside the porch waiting for the fireworks. After waiting for 20 minutes, we watched the fireworks booming and blooming in silence. Eyes fixated, expressionless and the whole starry night lasted for a mere 10 minutes. Then slowly everyone left in a straight line. The whole fancy merdeka night was celebrated by witnessing the fireworks.
Hooha, so damn havoc.
I have been queasy for the whole night. This is because I WANT TO BOOZE! Especially when people are parking their butts in the pubs, be it for merdeka (i guess it only serves as a convenience) or for pre-holiday frenzy... I want to be part of the fun too!
But I am still stuck in the office.
By this time party-goers are packing up, some must be squatting at a corner puking their livers out, some sleeping in the pubs, some cleaning the snowfoam from their hairs, police guarding the streets.. aww I can imagine all these...
Okay, tomorrow's not good either. There is no holiday for me - a contractual slave to Royal Dutch.
Argh, so deprived.
TAKE ME OUT!!
Happy birthday, land of chaos.
I'm working from 3pm to 12mn. Normal commuters are out there celebrating this aged event, drinking, dancing, throwing confetti, fucking, fighting.. etc
And I'm in the office shoving off loads of shit in Outlook.
The pathetic shift-workers were so deprived of all the above that we stood outside the porch waiting for the fireworks. After waiting for 20 minutes, we watched the fireworks booming and blooming in silence. Eyes fixated, expressionless and the whole starry night lasted for a mere 10 minutes. Then slowly everyone left in a straight line. The whole fancy merdeka night was celebrated by witnessing the fireworks.
Hooha, so damn havoc.
I have been queasy for the whole night. This is because I WANT TO BOOZE! Especially when people are parking their butts in the pubs, be it for merdeka (i guess it only serves as a convenience) or for pre-holiday frenzy... I want to be part of the fun too!
But I am still stuck in the office.
By this time party-goers are packing up, some must be squatting at a corner puking their livers out, some sleeping in the pubs, some cleaning the snowfoam from their hairs, police guarding the streets.. aww I can imagine all these...
Okay, tomorrow's not good either. There is no holiday for me - a contractual slave to Royal Dutch.
Argh, so deprived.
TAKE ME OUT!!
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Misdemeanor
I love to own cellphones.
With current technology and design-freaks, we can possess thin, sleek, sophisticated and high-tech mobile phones to all sorts of places. Flaunt it, fling it, bling it and swing the fun outta your world.
I used to change mine once a year (sometimes less than that) and felt guiltless about it. Maybe I like to flaunt but what made me so addicted is the features.. yes the wonderful built-in camera, true tones, BLUETOOH, WiFi, 256MB colors... wooweee... turns me on!
My current cellphone is the humble Motorola E398. Though lacking in cosmetic department, it has the above features. Amateurish, but it's the first Bluetoothy phone I ever have. And right now.. I am itching to change.. to SonyErcisson!
Anyway, so much for digressing.
What I wanna say in this entry is......
"don't you hate it when friends around you tend to show each other their sms-es, with witty and sneakish looks?"
I dare say this is called OUTRAGE OF MODESTY!
You want to share some secrets, hide a corner and show it to them. What the heck you have to show the ever-so-mysterious sms to one person and made some remarks that nobody can understand? This is so ridiculous.
The only motive I can possibly think of is, you just love to have people's eyes glued to you, your wholesome selfish son of a biatch.
I have so many people in different occasions who do that all the fucking time.
Males, especially, keep on showing pictures and sms-es to their own sex. They withdraw their weapons like lightning bolt the moment your eyes maneuver slightly to their direction. After that, their cheeky and oh-i-know-a-secret-and-u-dun-grin will appear on their stupid faces.
ArGh. Just can't stand it.
I think they are fetish on feeding each other's own perversions by using their cellphones, right in front of innocent crowd who feel damn dumb just to sit there and share a table, even though they are supposed to share a laugh and indulge in chats.
There is a function called FORWARDING. Rich enough to get good phones but can't afford 20 cents to forward a sms? Cheese in the brains, peeps.
K, enough of babbling.
Just want to keep this blog updated.
Wahaha!
I love to own cellphones.
With current technology and design-freaks, we can possess thin, sleek, sophisticated and high-tech mobile phones to all sorts of places. Flaunt it, fling it, bling it and swing the fun outta your world.
I used to change mine once a year (sometimes less than that) and felt guiltless about it. Maybe I like to flaunt but what made me so addicted is the features.. yes the wonderful built-in camera, true tones, BLUETOOH, WiFi, 256MB colors... wooweee... turns me on!
My current cellphone is the humble Motorola E398. Though lacking in cosmetic department, it has the above features. Amateurish, but it's the first Bluetoothy phone I ever have. And right now.. I am itching to change.. to SonyErcisson!
Anyway, so much for digressing.
What I wanna say in this entry is......
"don't you hate it when friends around you tend to show each other their sms-es, with witty and sneakish looks?"
I dare say this is called OUTRAGE OF MODESTY!
You want to share some secrets, hide a corner and show it to them. What the heck you have to show the ever-so-mysterious sms to one person and made some remarks that nobody can understand? This is so ridiculous.
The only motive I can possibly think of is, you just love to have people's eyes glued to you, your wholesome selfish son of a biatch.
I have so many people in different occasions who do that all the fucking time.
Males, especially, keep on showing pictures and sms-es to their own sex. They withdraw their weapons like lightning bolt the moment your eyes maneuver slightly to their direction. After that, their cheeky and oh-i-know-a-secret-and-u-dun-grin will appear on their stupid faces.
ArGh. Just can't stand it.
I think they are fetish on feeding each other's own perversions by using their cellphones, right in front of innocent crowd who feel damn dumb just to sit there and share a table, even though they are supposed to share a laugh and indulge in chats.
There is a function called FORWARDING. Rich enough to get good phones but can't afford 20 cents to forward a sms? Cheese in the brains, peeps.
K, enough of babbling.
Just want to keep this blog updated.
Wahaha!
Saturday, August 27, 2005
JOKE OF THE DAY
I couldn't stop laughing when I read this:
Message
From : CrossCultural
Date : Fri, Aug 26, 2005
Subject : laknock
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello laknock
I M SR Citizen 50yrs 171cm 75 kg.
Seeking female FOR ALL SEASONS
Companionship..LOVERS ..secret affairs…
Mixed Race -Malay Portuguese & Chinese
Returned from USA to Msia in Dec 2000
Married to American lady bud divorced with no children
Working in Shah Alam Sr Managerial position
2 B Your Master Your Slave
King of Sorrow
Doggie BJ 69 3SOM
Shah alam
Fauzyandy
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm laknock in that cyberspace.
This particular dick tried his best to be Cassanova, but with extreme bad taste.
He doesn't even have the guts to put his photo in his profile.
'2 B Your Master Your Slave' - How do you expect girls to melt at such words?!
'King of Sorrow' - OH PUHLEASE
The introduction is shameless, formal, prim and fucking boring.
If you can't write, please put your stupid fantasies in point-form.
Take this needle-sharp advice, peeps.
Just because you thought nobody will know who you are, doesn't mean you can write like a retard.
I couldn't stop laughing when I read this:
Message
From : CrossCultural
Date : Fri, Aug 26, 2005
Subject : laknock
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello laknock
I M SR Citizen 50yrs 171cm 75 kg.
Seeking female FOR ALL SEASONS
Companionship..LOVERS ..secret affairs…
Mixed Race -Malay Portuguese & Chinese
Returned from USA to Msia in Dec 2000
Married to American lady bud divorced with no children
Working in Shah Alam Sr Managerial position
2 B Your Master Your Slave
King of Sorrow
Doggie BJ 69 3SOM
Shah alam
Fauzyandy
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm laknock in that cyberspace.
This particular dick tried his best to be Cassanova, but with extreme bad taste.
He doesn't even have the guts to put his photo in his profile.
'2 B Your Master Your Slave' - How do you expect girls to melt at such words?!
'King of Sorrow' - OH PUHLEASE
The introduction is shameless, formal, prim and fucking boring.
If you can't write, please put your stupid fantasies in point-form.
Take this needle-sharp advice, peeps.
Just because you thought nobody will know who you are, doesn't mean you can write like a retard.
Friday, August 26, 2005
BAH!
Okay Ms Quirk has been lazy.
(what's new?)
Anyway, I was at the company dinner and dance last Saturday.
Man, it was such a bore. To think that everyone was so hyped up and in frenzied excitement two weeks before the event. Dishes were served retardedly, stage performances became eye-sore and I still could not believe that gal was crowned as BEST DRESSED FEMALE for the night. My bitches would have fallen off their chairs while closing their eyes in grief. Waitasec before you start to diss my criticisms. I did not say I should be the Star. For heaven's sake, I could be termed as the WORST INAPPROPRIATELY DRESSED BIATCH of the night. Every clits were covered with glitzy, flattering gowns and shawls, stiff hairdos and nippon paint on their faces. My, they looked wonderful. That's because they dun look like themselves. As for me, besides that woman with schoolgirl pony-tails and 80s denim outfit, I invited scornful stares and amused looks by ALL. Maybe I was imagining it. But my two-inch white slippers were a dead giveaway.
My hair was made by yours truly, in a panicky rush due to the amount of time spent on sticking double-sided tapes on my shirt and bra.
In the end I was feeling rather smug of my image before it was crushed to powder in the ballroom.
Of course I had to smile as widely as possible and tell my colleagues that I dun freckin' care how I look.
God might have pitied me. After the disastrous dinner, we went to a pub that was packed with hungry wolves. I had my dances, downed my drinks, emptied my fags and it really took my mind off my jestery clothes till one of the stickers revealed itself to the public.
But that was nothing. Nothing compared to the huge ballroom with fancy ladies and men with blazers. Bah.
So, what a night. I hardly saw my colleagues. I guess I wouldn't have recognize them anyway. I was in the picture with someone whom I NEVER KNEW. But it's not a shocker, I was a convenient pillar of comparison for the ladies.
Haiya, enough of deprecations.
There's a kitten. His name is Stitch. He bites. Oh yes he does. For pure maniacal fun.
He only hunts for human flesh and whining is his best do.
Remember a song? It befits my feelings to this fella to the ultimate high.
"When Love And Hate Collides"
I slapped him. Yet I stroke his fur with affection, before my hand got bitten of course.
So now this unusal 'family' at 8E Taman PP has a newcomer.
His fangs are as fatal as JAWS. But we adore him to bits.
Two cats, two birds and a pair of starry-eyed lovers.
Okay Ms Quirk has been lazy.
(what's new?)
Anyway, I was at the company dinner and dance last Saturday.
Man, it was such a bore. To think that everyone was so hyped up and in frenzied excitement two weeks before the event. Dishes were served retardedly, stage performances became eye-sore and I still could not believe that gal was crowned as BEST DRESSED FEMALE for the night. My bitches would have fallen off their chairs while closing their eyes in grief. Waitasec before you start to diss my criticisms. I did not say I should be the Star. For heaven's sake, I could be termed as the WORST INAPPROPRIATELY DRESSED BIATCH of the night. Every clits were covered with glitzy, flattering gowns and shawls, stiff hairdos and nippon paint on their faces. My, they looked wonderful. That's because they dun look like themselves. As for me, besides that woman with schoolgirl pony-tails and 80s denim outfit, I invited scornful stares and amused looks by ALL. Maybe I was imagining it. But my two-inch white slippers were a dead giveaway.
My hair was made by yours truly, in a panicky rush due to the amount of time spent on sticking double-sided tapes on my shirt and bra.
In the end I was feeling rather smug of my image before it was crushed to powder in the ballroom.
Of course I had to smile as widely as possible and tell my colleagues that I dun freckin' care how I look.
God might have pitied me. After the disastrous dinner, we went to a pub that was packed with hungry wolves. I had my dances, downed my drinks, emptied my fags and it really took my mind off my jestery clothes till one of the stickers revealed itself to the public.
But that was nothing. Nothing compared to the huge ballroom with fancy ladies and men with blazers. Bah.
So, what a night. I hardly saw my colleagues. I guess I wouldn't have recognize them anyway. I was in the picture with someone whom I NEVER KNEW. But it's not a shocker, I was a convenient pillar of comparison for the ladies.
Haiya, enough of deprecations.
There's a kitten. His name is Stitch. He bites. Oh yes he does. For pure maniacal fun.
He only hunts for human flesh and whining is his best do.
Remember a song? It befits my feelings to this fella to the ultimate high.
"When Love And Hate Collides"
I slapped him. Yet I stroke his fur with affection, before my hand got bitten of course.
So now this unusal 'family' at 8E Taman PP has a newcomer.
His fangs are as fatal as JAWS. But we adore him to bits.
Two cats, two birds and a pair of starry-eyed lovers.
Thursday, July 21, 2005
A PAIR OF BIRDS AND TWO COUCH POTATOES
Starsky and Hutchie came into our lives last Saturday. Cute little nerdie budgies.. Starsky with bright green and partial yellow feathers while Hutchie is dressed in gentle purplish white. It's obvious to know Hutchie is a female, because her eyes are shaped like almond nuts, slightly tilting upwards on the rear end. She looks very feminine and elegant. As for Starsky, his eyes are round and small, with a hint of intelligence and wit that you would have known he can understand all the gibberish birdtalk that only humans always try to sound cute in.
We pamper them as much as Tiger, bought a big cage, expensive food and a metal plate for them to enjoy their sanctuary. As for Tiger, he relishes on staring at the birds everyday, much to his dismay that he won't be able to devour them like he does to the poor lizards.
But my budgies seem to like Tiger as they never panic when he clings close. One day a stray cat crept in and the birds flapped their wings, gawked and squeaked till we had to close the windows. You see, this scene never occur when Tiger's leaning close to them (to the point of playing with their tails).
Now, two of us are planning for a dog. Well.. this is kinda hefty.. on the expenses, maintenance and efforts that needed to care for a different kind of domestic pet. Hum, we shall see how serious he is.
By the way, I'm hooked onto Transformers. Yes you heard me right. The one that I always scorned and laughed about.. on men and boys who always stood outside VCD shops, beaded eyes fixated on big TVs that played Transformers over and over again.
Both of us have lapped up Transformers Armada Season 1 Part 1. We just bought Transformers Superlink and it isn't as fantastic as the former one. Am waiting EAGERLY for Armada Season 1 Part 2!! How torturing!
Autobots, TRANSFORM!
Starsky and Hutchie came into our lives last Saturday. Cute little nerdie budgies.. Starsky with bright green and partial yellow feathers while Hutchie is dressed in gentle purplish white. It's obvious to know Hutchie is a female, because her eyes are shaped like almond nuts, slightly tilting upwards on the rear end. She looks very feminine and elegant. As for Starsky, his eyes are round and small, with a hint of intelligence and wit that you would have known he can understand all the gibberish birdtalk that only humans always try to sound cute in.
We pamper them as much as Tiger, bought a big cage, expensive food and a metal plate for them to enjoy their sanctuary. As for Tiger, he relishes on staring at the birds everyday, much to his dismay that he won't be able to devour them like he does to the poor lizards.
But my budgies seem to like Tiger as they never panic when he clings close. One day a stray cat crept in and the birds flapped their wings, gawked and squeaked till we had to close the windows. You see, this scene never occur when Tiger's leaning close to them (to the point of playing with their tails).
Now, two of us are planning for a dog. Well.. this is kinda hefty.. on the expenses, maintenance and efforts that needed to care for a different kind of domestic pet. Hum, we shall see how serious he is.
By the way, I'm hooked onto Transformers. Yes you heard me right. The one that I always scorned and laughed about.. on men and boys who always stood outside VCD shops, beaded eyes fixated on big TVs that played Transformers over and over again.
Both of us have lapped up Transformers Armada Season 1 Part 1. We just bought Transformers Superlink and it isn't as fantastic as the former one. Am waiting EAGERLY for Armada Season 1 Part 2!! How torturing!
Autobots, TRANSFORM!
Monday, July 18, 2005
BACKLASH
I am tired.
.. .
Last Friday, there was a cut in my heart. It left a deep gash and refused to heal. It provided me with awakening tremors and I struggled to accept the reality.
My boyfriend is very sociable.
Nothing's wrong with that.
But I have to take the backseat because of it.
It saddens me to feel secondary when he is surrounded by friends.
My emotions took a nosedive when he verbally defended his friends in front of me.
I was told that I did not try hard enough to get aquainted, when he couldn't even see my sincerities and efforts being put to sleep by his friends.
I was told that I did not make myself comfortable in my work environment because I appear as a stuckup bitch, when he did not realise my niceties were being taken for granted.
I was told that he cannot do anything to make me feel better when he is always being kept busy with his friends, be it gatherings, phone conversations, internet chatting etc.
I was told that, I have to learn how to be independent even though I came to this country with little knowledge of what I'm gonna experience, and even though I'm feeling so small and vulnerable.
I was being told, with all the obscenities, as the above.
I dun suppose I have to endure all these.
I'm alone here and I can only depend on the man who doesn't seem to be sensitive to my lonely soul.
Friends, to him, are the untouchables.
Me, to him, is a necessity.
Love, of course, exists between us.
But what is love?
I am tired.
.. .
Last Friday, there was a cut in my heart. It left a deep gash and refused to heal. It provided me with awakening tremors and I struggled to accept the reality.
My boyfriend is very sociable.
Nothing's wrong with that.
But I have to take the backseat because of it.
It saddens me to feel secondary when he is surrounded by friends.
My emotions took a nosedive when he verbally defended his friends in front of me.
I was told that I did not try hard enough to get aquainted, when he couldn't even see my sincerities and efforts being put to sleep by his friends.
I was told that I did not make myself comfortable in my work environment because I appear as a stuckup bitch, when he did not realise my niceties were being taken for granted.
I was told that he cannot do anything to make me feel better when he is always being kept busy with his friends, be it gatherings, phone conversations, internet chatting etc.
I was told that, I have to learn how to be independent even though I came to this country with little knowledge of what I'm gonna experience, and even though I'm feeling so small and vulnerable.
I was being told, with all the obscenities, as the above.
I dun suppose I have to endure all these.
I'm alone here and I can only depend on the man who doesn't seem to be sensitive to my lonely soul.
Friends, to him, are the untouchables.
Me, to him, is a necessity.
Love, of course, exists between us.
But what is love?
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
FLEA IN MY FUR
I have this fellow colleague in my office.
Not only does his face resembles a kind of creature that snorts, he has a personality as positive as Lucifer's.
There's a common sense in this world: if you are capable, nobody cover their noses when you fart.
As for this snorty little arsehole, he has holes all over his cheese brain. Even though he has bad English in his language power, he speaks with a forced british-american-indonesian accent. It's traumatizing to the spell-checkers whenever they hear him speak, whereby he always ends each word with a drag on the last letter.
His favourite past-time is to make people look like a fool and tries to boost his pea-sized ego by saying stupid things with a "oh-now-u-know" grin.
I'm accumulating all the nasty things he did to me. Ain't gonna let him on the loose for long. As I always say, I'm a tame little pussy till you step on my tail.
Watch out, pighead.
I can't wait to lick you with my acid tongue.
I have this fellow colleague in my office.
Not only does his face resembles a kind of creature that snorts, he has a personality as positive as Lucifer's.
There's a common sense in this world: if you are capable, nobody cover their noses when you fart.
As for this snorty little arsehole, he has holes all over his cheese brain. Even though he has bad English in his language power, he speaks with a forced british-american-indonesian accent. It's traumatizing to the spell-checkers whenever they hear him speak, whereby he always ends each word with a drag on the last letter.
His favourite past-time is to make people look like a fool and tries to boost his pea-sized ego by saying stupid things with a "oh-now-u-know" grin.
I'm accumulating all the nasty things he did to me. Ain't gonna let him on the loose for long. As I always say, I'm a tame little pussy till you step on my tail.
Watch out, pighead.
I can't wait to lick you with my acid tongue.
Friday, June 24, 2005
SILENCE
I always thought coming to KL solves every issues I have with him.
That was what I had thought.
Reality bites.
Maybe I was expecting too much, maybe he isn't doing it right, maybe we never want to compromise, but one thing is definite: Communication breakdown.
Throughout the 5-6 years in this relationship, communication remains a constant barrier between us. Now that I'm here, it becomes more and more apparent.
Everyday I will wish I can go back to Singapore, leading my old life.. even though it's a meaningless one. And everyday I will think about the past and the present.. and I realize there isn't any difference; back to Singapore or living here.. loneliness stays with me no matter where I go. After mincing all these thoughts, depression sinks in.
Nowhere to go, nothing to look forward to.
Everything in limbo.
I always thought coming to KL solves every issues I have with him.
That was what I had thought.
Reality bites.
Maybe I was expecting too much, maybe he isn't doing it right, maybe we never want to compromise, but one thing is definite: Communication breakdown.
Throughout the 5-6 years in this relationship, communication remains a constant barrier between us. Now that I'm here, it becomes more and more apparent.
Everyday I will wish I can go back to Singapore, leading my old life.. even though it's a meaningless one. And everyday I will think about the past and the present.. and I realize there isn't any difference; back to Singapore or living here.. loneliness stays with me no matter where I go. After mincing all these thoughts, depression sinks in.
Nowhere to go, nothing to look forward to.
Everything in limbo.
Monday, June 06, 2005
BLEAK
It's been a month since I started my life in KL.
Frankly, I hate it here.
Pollution, bad traffic, rude people, stupid colleagues.. sum everything up.
And what's worse? I have no friends.
There are a lot of things I observed and witnessed and I dun like what I had seen.
I feel lonely; friends are not MY friends. They refer me as Clifford's girlfriend.
There's a part of me being hidden and that, is the real me.
Life over here starts to take shape, I start to become another person too.
I dun like it.
It's been a month since I started my life in KL.
Frankly, I hate it here.
Pollution, bad traffic, rude people, stupid colleagues.. sum everything up.
And what's worse? I have no friends.
There are a lot of things I observed and witnessed and I dun like what I had seen.
I feel lonely; friends are not MY friends. They refer me as Clifford's girlfriend.
There's a part of me being hidden and that, is the real me.
Life over here starts to take shape, I start to become another person too.
I dun like it.
Monday, May 23, 2005
EMAILS ARE IMPORTANT
From Ms Quirk
Sent: Monday, May 23, 2005 7:31 PM
Hi Elaine!
Phew, yeah.. work starts to pile up.. stress level rises everyday like the sun.. I'm learning more processes and more tasks given each day. Not that I'm complaining, I'm actually enjoying it though the pressure of making mistakes are mounting up. Last friday I was given a bulk request at 5pm and I panicked while I was poring over the details, at the same time fingers moving fast across the keyboard, trying to finish them as quick as possible. But by 745pm my mind was sucked dry and I couldn't think straight anymore. I left the office w/o completing it, since a senior said we are allowed a few days to complete the request. I might be asking too much from myself but I dun like to leave my tasks hanging in the middle especially when I'm halfway thru, you should understand that feeling, ya?
Anyway, today's a public holiday but it isn't so for me. Well, to all third-party contract staff, it's normal working day but we have lesser requests as most asian countries are having a day off. And I had lunch with my team lead and some members.. but it wasn't an enjoyable one, because they were so engrossed in chatting about their own stuff (like followups and updating) that both me and another freshie were quiet throughout, putting on a half smile, tried our best to look interested. Thing is, team lead didn't do her best to introduce us to them cuz since there are so many teams on rotating shifts, we weren't introduced to ALL of them during the first day, second day and so forth. We dunno their names and faces yet they know our names. I did tried to talk to some during office hours (esp when i need help) but the ice is still solid.
You know, there are a lot of times my team lead would take out snacks and offer to the people surrounding them, and I, being one of the surrounding members, weren't offered at all. Besides, she would stand menacingly close to me, chatting about her snacks with the team members while chomping on the food, leaving me covered in her shadow. Yucks, I really hate it. My team lead is firm and strict but she is friendly and warm to other members.. except towards the freshies. I call her the ICE QUEEN. And she has sharp tongue. This morning the other freshie came in and greeted her with 'Morning'. She greeted back with same word and added, 'You start work at 8am, not 8:10', tone cold and face looking at monitor. Whoa. So far she never said that to any others, and if she does, she will input some singlish or melayu, "oui, so late ar?" Sigh, I guess there are two explanations: Either TIME will melt her ice coat or I really cant click with her.
(gossip: she's in mid to late thirties yet NOT MARRIED, NO BF. drives a good car, am into sports though she's not athletic)
Oh ya, I just remembered, during lunch just now, one of the team was talking abt getting award in the recent sports events for the dept's glory.. and he told my team lead, "next time when u do interview, u shud ask them whther they are good in sports. if not, dun hire them" She nodded her head with a big yes. Then the guy turned to me and asked with a smile, "did she ask u that qn?". I shook my head and before I could answer, my team lead said, "I didnt interview her." without a smile. GOSH! I was cursing inside (but with the consistant polite half-smile shining at everyone) She must have thought I'm not sporty, and she's very friendly towards ppl who plays sports. Duh. Nmind, I dun care. If one day there's a chance I play badminton with her, I will make sure the shuttlecock hit her face hard >:)
Heh, it's so shiok to tell you abt my team lead now, especially when she is moving around distributing snacks again. Haha, feels so good inside (while am looking serious) :P
Last weekend my sis from Japan came to KL for business meeting, and because of it my mom, sis, her son and her hubby came over for a gathering. It was so NICE to see them again and I miss ALL of them so much! :) My newly rented house has new paint (only undercoat, and tats good enuff) now, and two of us spent an hour rubbing the paint off our face, hair and arms using scotchbrite sponge. Haha! Mid-June, sofa will be coming in. Sigh, it's not cheap man. But can't find anywhere cheaper with average material. Those cheapcheap ones, are really lousy and spoil easily. Luckily my sis gave me a sum of money to be treated as belated birthday gift. We used it to pay for the sofa's deposit :")
I will take some photos of the new house and send it tog with the group photo (in my sis's camera) taken outside the house sometime soon!
Oh ya I heard eITU may MERGE with AVA once ITP are outsourced? How soon will tat be? Is that a bad blow to all of you there? So if the merge is true, who will head the unit?
Luv,
Quirk
********************************************
From Elaine C
Received: Tuesday, May 17, 2005 9:22 AM
Hi Quirk, I want to start off my day with you… email looks long but was a friendly one as though you’re just sitting next to me…talking.. Kong hasn’t come over but is starting to pick things up. Yesterday Prof Ng called for a meeting cos there is a feedback that stu wrote to CC and forwarded back to me… Same old story loh.. games playing at night that disturb the other hard working ones… We decided to close all clusters from 5pm next week to monitor the exact usage (rather till we come up with a good solution.. ha ha) All the genuine users will need to write in and ask for 24 hrs using PC1. (we’re expecting less than 30) Marwan wasn’t in the meeting but I would expect Steve to update him. Kong was in but was rather quiet though occasionally did put in his suggestion. I did not comment much as I leave it to Steve to talk.
The last time Kong and I worked on PC4 and PC5 and configured the D and E drives to NTFS just to catch the user’s info when files are created (with FAT can’t do). So today I have the mission to go thru all the PCs and provide a list of stu who installed games. Clever stu will not create game files with meaningful name. I need to perform a search.. that kind of labor work.. very soon I’ll get drained. But I’ll not hold all issues on my own anymore. Under Prof Ang mgt, no complaint is good enough and he doesn’t care much about how things are carried out. With NG, things are different. Anytime she will give a call to chat and check things out… Prof Ng and NG have been inspecting the labs regularly when they are free. Good that they show up to the ppl but no good if they show up at the wrong time.. lesser freedom too.. need to learn balancing with our new mgt…
Have not got a chance to have lunch with new AO. Will do next week to know more about her then I tell you. Your new workplace sounds fun than my end… When coming to maintaining accounts, it may be dull. However, if your workplace has proper standard and rules, it is an organized place. That impressed me most.. As for the ppl that can’t be controlled, will need time. I agreed that ice will be broken once you start to blend in and work with them as a team…I suggest once you start to know your colleagues, cut down your breaks with your boyfriend.. else you’ll never get a chance to know more other than your work responsibilities.. u know what I mean? Excuse me.. Kay Poh.. The pantry esp. you mentioned with the hot drinks dispenser.. enough to get me dreaming about the break time… I believed it is a good company… try to learn as much as you can.. transfer when you’ve mastered the current skills.. I can tell you’ve a lot work to do..
Truly, a house needs to look presentable when ma ma comes.. I wouldn’t invest too much on furniture (except a good bed that I can have good rest after a long tiring day). A cheap set allows me to change to a new set when the old ones give way and not feel ‘heart pain’ – SingLish. I’m not sure your end will need curtain for all windows. If possible, don’t put if not needed. My sitting room curtain is just for show only.. and when it’s time to wash, to remove the hooks take time and washing that big sheet test my poor washing machine.. ended up we sent to laundry shop…
Am looking forward for this long weekend. The same to you… ‘happy shopping’.. Elaine
********************************************
From Ms Quirk
Sent: Monday, May 16, 2005 6:57 PM
Hallo Elaine! Oh yes I was surprised GJ left but I expected XT to resign anytime soon. I dunno why, but I had that feeling when he talked to me during my farewell lunch-cum-Steve's Promotion treat, and I did told LH that the next one to leave might be XT.. and, true enough, he did it right after my departure! (and he left less than a week after offsetting his leave, rite!)
I heard from Marwan that morale is quite low over there, and the recent case of students blatantly playing games in the clusters, resulted in Prof Ng's unhappiness and Steve's panicy moments, yes? Ah, how nostalgic.. I think if I'm there I would be very frustrated but, I believe there's a workaround solution, because this issue was brought up since last time and solutions were offered now and then, just that mgmt didnt take it up.
How's Kong coping with the new knowledge and environment? Does he like it there? Does that mean there's a one person shortage in Unix grp? Oh ya, WY will not be doing smart classroom in order to replace Kong, is it? How you doing over there? Busier? Marwan? Yanti? The MSOs and perky new AO? Any changes in the procedures, decisions, tasks assignments?
Me over here, well the first week was dull. I was given two web-based training (to be done on time on target) and there were tests, quizes and exams after each module studied. If you didnt pass the finals, you won't be given the user id and pwd to login to their ServiceCenter appln - where tasks were 90% done over there. Well I passed, after two days with the utmost urge to doze off. After that I was assigned to learn how the tasks were done by sitting with the seniors. But most of that week was passed with nothing to do. This week, like today and tmrw, I will be attending onboard training cum induction organized by HR. While at the same time, learning and doing the simpler tasks assigned by my team lead. It's an entirely different jobscope, where its very process-driven and procedures are to be followed strictly. Actually, IT knowledge will not be used extensively since all you have to do is to follow the processes. Just that you have to use alot of judgements and experience with Active Directory will make work much easier.
I hope I can tahan there for a year or so, then if things look good, request for transfer. But it's much much too early to say for now! :) (oh the environment for my dept is quite formal, as in, ppl dun chat during wrkg hrs, lunch, teabreak, breakfast hours are restricted with tight discipline. Punctuality is impt - haha tats serves me right huh - since i will be on shifts soon - i am on training for most prob this month, i'm working 830 to 530. but i heard they may implement 3-12am shift soon.. which is bad coz no shift allowance will be given! boohoo!!) Colleagues are okay but ice has not broken yet, most of them clutter among themselves but I managed to find a nice gal to lunch with (tog with my boyfriend since they know each other very well).
As for my team lead, errh, she's nice but not friendly enuff to ask u out for lunch. I guess it takes time bah, they said most of them become good colleagues after working a couple of night shifts.. so I shall see! Oh ya, finally I have a pantry to linger on.. haha! Office is big.. all levels are separated by two wings and pantries are in the middle, connecting the wings. They have expresso/mocha/cappucino/nescafe/milo makers, decent water coolers, large panels of windows to overlook the scene outside (not that its a nice scene anyway), fridge... to me, it's good enuff since I never enjoyed the luxury of using such large pantry. HAHA!
Hmm, let me work for another week and I shall update you on what's on in my working environment! HEEHEE! By the way I have not moved into my new house yet. Hopefully it can be done by this weekend. Yday we painted the room and living room, scrubbed kitchen floor (for arrivals of small fridge and two small kitchen cabinets) till midnight. Goodness, the house is not as new as I thought, with stains on the wall and chipped flooring (paraquet). But well, its roomy and its cheap, so I wont complain much. But what make me heartpain is the furniture.. since the house is totally unfurnished and I have nothing to bring over, I bought a single bed frame with mattress, a water heater, a small fridge, a small dining table. We plan to get cheapcheap sofa too. The stress level is on, cos my sister is coming to KL (for meeting) from Japan this Thurs, my parents gonna visit me in mid June... we dun wan them to see us with nothing to provide them. So right now we are always on the hunt for cheap stuff and good bargains. Kinda tiring...
This is a long mail.. haha, so many things to talk ^_^ Keep in touch ya! Take care Elaine!
Luv, Quirk
********************************************
From Elaine C
Sent: Friday, May 13, 2005 11:49 AM
Hi Quirk I believed Marwan must have updated u when has happened after you left. XT and GJ followed… I just came back from 3 days leave and was told that the SmartClassrm will be returned to AVA. I would think that is a good choice to cut down tasks as our man power is shrinking. Work place is still the same, students are in and out giving ‘problems’. Kong will be taking over your role when WY is ready with Unix.
I hope you’re getting adapted with your new environment. Remember to give yourselves enough time to cope. Things may change as time flies… most importantly, have to face the challenge. No trial no gain. I believed this philosophy is true though I’ve to claim that my ‘religion’ teaches so… Without trial, I can’t experience God’s presence. Think of the good that you’ve gained and bad that you’ve lost… at least you don’t have to worry facing Prof Ko… when I first dealt with him, I wish his class can be over soon.. after that, I got used to it… There is still some long way for you… after settled with job, may have to think of setting up a family, when have time – start to think about knowledge upgrade… just go step by step. It is not easy but with endurance and a strong will, it can be overcome.
Tell me more about your workplace… ha ha.. I always like to know what is happening outside the world whenever I met up with my friends or classmates… always be thankful of what you’ve now… never look back.. talk to your good friend/boyfriend and get over the “blues”.. only monthly “blues” that a boy can’t understand… ok ok… talking like “aunty”
Got to work… really got to work leh.. contactless card guys are here to set up the controllers. Write me when you’re free. Take good care.. Elaine
From Ms Quirk
Sent: Monday, May 23, 2005 7:31 PM
Hi Elaine!
Phew, yeah.. work starts to pile up.. stress level rises everyday like the sun.. I'm learning more processes and more tasks given each day. Not that I'm complaining, I'm actually enjoying it though the pressure of making mistakes are mounting up. Last friday I was given a bulk request at 5pm and I panicked while I was poring over the details, at the same time fingers moving fast across the keyboard, trying to finish them as quick as possible. But by 745pm my mind was sucked dry and I couldn't think straight anymore. I left the office w/o completing it, since a senior said we are allowed a few days to complete the request. I might be asking too much from myself but I dun like to leave my tasks hanging in the middle especially when I'm halfway thru, you should understand that feeling, ya?
Anyway, today's a public holiday but it isn't so for me. Well, to all third-party contract staff, it's normal working day but we have lesser requests as most asian countries are having a day off. And I had lunch with my team lead and some members.. but it wasn't an enjoyable one, because they were so engrossed in chatting about their own stuff (like followups and updating) that both me and another freshie were quiet throughout, putting on a half smile, tried our best to look interested. Thing is, team lead didn't do her best to introduce us to them cuz since there are so many teams on rotating shifts, we weren't introduced to ALL of them during the first day, second day and so forth. We dunno their names and faces yet they know our names. I did tried to talk to some during office hours (esp when i need help) but the ice is still solid.
You know, there are a lot of times my team lead would take out snacks and offer to the people surrounding them, and I, being one of the surrounding members, weren't offered at all. Besides, she would stand menacingly close to me, chatting about her snacks with the team members while chomping on the food, leaving me covered in her shadow. Yucks, I really hate it. My team lead is firm and strict but she is friendly and warm to other members.. except towards the freshies. I call her the ICE QUEEN. And she has sharp tongue. This morning the other freshie came in and greeted her with 'Morning'. She greeted back with same word and added, 'You start work at 8am, not 8:10', tone cold and face looking at monitor. Whoa. So far she never said that to any others, and if she does, she will input some singlish or melayu, "oui, so late ar?" Sigh, I guess there are two explanations: Either TIME will melt her ice coat or I really cant click with her.
(gossip: she's in mid to late thirties yet NOT MARRIED, NO BF. drives a good car, am into sports though she's not athletic)
Oh ya, I just remembered, during lunch just now, one of the team was talking abt getting award in the recent sports events for the dept's glory.. and he told my team lead, "next time when u do interview, u shud ask them whther they are good in sports. if not, dun hire them" She nodded her head with a big yes. Then the guy turned to me and asked with a smile, "did she ask u that qn?". I shook my head and before I could answer, my team lead said, "I didnt interview her." without a smile. GOSH! I was cursing inside (but with the consistant polite half-smile shining at everyone) She must have thought I'm not sporty, and she's very friendly towards ppl who plays sports. Duh. Nmind, I dun care. If one day there's a chance I play badminton with her, I will make sure the shuttlecock hit her face hard >:)
Heh, it's so shiok to tell you abt my team lead now, especially when she is moving around distributing snacks again. Haha, feels so good inside (while am looking serious) :P
Last weekend my sis from Japan came to KL for business meeting, and because of it my mom, sis, her son and her hubby came over for a gathering. It was so NICE to see them again and I miss ALL of them so much! :) My newly rented house has new paint (only undercoat, and tats good enuff) now, and two of us spent an hour rubbing the paint off our face, hair and arms using scotchbrite sponge. Haha! Mid-June, sofa will be coming in. Sigh, it's not cheap man. But can't find anywhere cheaper with average material. Those cheapcheap ones, are really lousy and spoil easily. Luckily my sis gave me a sum of money to be treated as belated birthday gift. We used it to pay for the sofa's deposit :")
I will take some photos of the new house and send it tog with the group photo (in my sis's camera) taken outside the house sometime soon!
Oh ya I heard eITU may MERGE with AVA once ITP are outsourced? How soon will tat be? Is that a bad blow to all of you there? So if the merge is true, who will head the unit?
Luv,
Quirk
********************************************
From Elaine C
Received: Tuesday, May 17, 2005 9:22 AM
Hi Quirk, I want to start off my day with you… email looks long but was a friendly one as though you’re just sitting next to me…talking.. Kong hasn’t come over but is starting to pick things up. Yesterday Prof Ng called for a meeting cos there is a feedback that stu wrote to CC and forwarded back to me… Same old story loh.. games playing at night that disturb the other hard working ones… We decided to close all clusters from 5pm next week to monitor the exact usage (rather till we come up with a good solution.. ha ha) All the genuine users will need to write in and ask for 24 hrs using PC1. (we’re expecting less than 30) Marwan wasn’t in the meeting but I would expect Steve to update him. Kong was in but was rather quiet though occasionally did put in his suggestion. I did not comment much as I leave it to Steve to talk.
The last time Kong and I worked on PC4 and PC5 and configured the D and E drives to NTFS just to catch the user’s info when files are created (with FAT can’t do). So today I have the mission to go thru all the PCs and provide a list of stu who installed games. Clever stu will not create game files with meaningful name. I need to perform a search.. that kind of labor work.. very soon I’ll get drained. But I’ll not hold all issues on my own anymore. Under Prof Ang mgt, no complaint is good enough and he doesn’t care much about how things are carried out. With NG, things are different. Anytime she will give a call to chat and check things out… Prof Ng and NG have been inspecting the labs regularly when they are free. Good that they show up to the ppl but no good if they show up at the wrong time.. lesser freedom too.. need to learn balancing with our new mgt…
Have not got a chance to have lunch with new AO. Will do next week to know more about her then I tell you. Your new workplace sounds fun than my end… When coming to maintaining accounts, it may be dull. However, if your workplace has proper standard and rules, it is an organized place. That impressed me most.. As for the ppl that can’t be controlled, will need time. I agreed that ice will be broken once you start to blend in and work with them as a team…I suggest once you start to know your colleagues, cut down your breaks with your boyfriend.. else you’ll never get a chance to know more other than your work responsibilities.. u know what I mean? Excuse me.. Kay Poh.. The pantry esp. you mentioned with the hot drinks dispenser.. enough to get me dreaming about the break time… I believed it is a good company… try to learn as much as you can.. transfer when you’ve mastered the current skills.. I can tell you’ve a lot work to do..
Truly, a house needs to look presentable when ma ma comes.. I wouldn’t invest too much on furniture (except a good bed that I can have good rest after a long tiring day). A cheap set allows me to change to a new set when the old ones give way and not feel ‘heart pain’ – SingLish. I’m not sure your end will need curtain for all windows. If possible, don’t put if not needed. My sitting room curtain is just for show only.. and when it’s time to wash, to remove the hooks take time and washing that big sheet test my poor washing machine.. ended up we sent to laundry shop…
Am looking forward for this long weekend. The same to you… ‘happy shopping’.. Elaine
********************************************
From Ms Quirk
Sent: Monday, May 16, 2005 6:57 PM
Hallo Elaine! Oh yes I was surprised GJ left but I expected XT to resign anytime soon. I dunno why, but I had that feeling when he talked to me during my farewell lunch-cum-Steve's Promotion treat, and I did told LH that the next one to leave might be XT.. and, true enough, he did it right after my departure! (and he left less than a week after offsetting his leave, rite!)
I heard from Marwan that morale is quite low over there, and the recent case of students blatantly playing games in the clusters, resulted in Prof Ng's unhappiness and Steve's panicy moments, yes? Ah, how nostalgic.. I think if I'm there I would be very frustrated but, I believe there's a workaround solution, because this issue was brought up since last time and solutions were offered now and then, just that mgmt didnt take it up.
How's Kong coping with the new knowledge and environment? Does he like it there? Does that mean there's a one person shortage in Unix grp? Oh ya, WY will not be doing smart classroom in order to replace Kong, is it? How you doing over there? Busier? Marwan? Yanti? The MSOs and perky new AO? Any changes in the procedures, decisions, tasks assignments?
Me over here, well the first week was dull. I was given two web-based training (to be done on time on target) and there were tests, quizes and exams after each module studied. If you didnt pass the finals, you won't be given the user id and pwd to login to their ServiceCenter appln - where tasks were 90% done over there. Well I passed, after two days with the utmost urge to doze off. After that I was assigned to learn how the tasks were done by sitting with the seniors. But most of that week was passed with nothing to do. This week, like today and tmrw, I will be attending onboard training cum induction organized by HR. While at the same time, learning and doing the simpler tasks assigned by my team lead. It's an entirely different jobscope, where its very process-driven and procedures are to be followed strictly. Actually, IT knowledge will not be used extensively since all you have to do is to follow the processes. Just that you have to use alot of judgements and experience with Active Directory will make work much easier.
I hope I can tahan there for a year or so, then if things look good, request for transfer. But it's much much too early to say for now! :) (oh the environment for my dept is quite formal, as in, ppl dun chat during wrkg hrs, lunch, teabreak, breakfast hours are restricted with tight discipline. Punctuality is impt - haha tats serves me right huh - since i will be on shifts soon - i am on training for most prob this month, i'm working 830 to 530. but i heard they may implement 3-12am shift soon.. which is bad coz no shift allowance will be given! boohoo!!) Colleagues are okay but ice has not broken yet, most of them clutter among themselves but I managed to find a nice gal to lunch with (tog with my boyfriend since they know each other very well).
As for my team lead, errh, she's nice but not friendly enuff to ask u out for lunch. I guess it takes time bah, they said most of them become good colleagues after working a couple of night shifts.. so I shall see! Oh ya, finally I have a pantry to linger on.. haha! Office is big.. all levels are separated by two wings and pantries are in the middle, connecting the wings. They have expresso/mocha/cappucino/nescafe/milo makers, decent water coolers, large panels of windows to overlook the scene outside (not that its a nice scene anyway), fridge... to me, it's good enuff since I never enjoyed the luxury of using such large pantry. HAHA!
Hmm, let me work for another week and I shall update you on what's on in my working environment! HEEHEE! By the way I have not moved into my new house yet. Hopefully it can be done by this weekend. Yday we painted the room and living room, scrubbed kitchen floor (for arrivals of small fridge and two small kitchen cabinets) till midnight. Goodness, the house is not as new as I thought, with stains on the wall and chipped flooring (paraquet). But well, its roomy and its cheap, so I wont complain much. But what make me heartpain is the furniture.. since the house is totally unfurnished and I have nothing to bring over, I bought a single bed frame with mattress, a water heater, a small fridge, a small dining table. We plan to get cheapcheap sofa too. The stress level is on, cos my sister is coming to KL (for meeting) from Japan this Thurs, my parents gonna visit me in mid June... we dun wan them to see us with nothing to provide them. So right now we are always on the hunt for cheap stuff and good bargains. Kinda tiring...
This is a long mail.. haha, so many things to talk ^_^ Keep in touch ya! Take care Elaine!
Luv, Quirk
********************************************
From Elaine C
Sent: Friday, May 13, 2005 11:49 AM
Hi Quirk I believed Marwan must have updated u when has happened after you left. XT and GJ followed… I just came back from 3 days leave and was told that the SmartClassrm will be returned to AVA. I would think that is a good choice to cut down tasks as our man power is shrinking. Work place is still the same, students are in and out giving ‘problems’. Kong will be taking over your role when WY is ready with Unix.
I hope you’re getting adapted with your new environment. Remember to give yourselves enough time to cope. Things may change as time flies… most importantly, have to face the challenge. No trial no gain. I believed this philosophy is true though I’ve to claim that my ‘religion’ teaches so… Without trial, I can’t experience God’s presence. Think of the good that you’ve gained and bad that you’ve lost… at least you don’t have to worry facing Prof Ko… when I first dealt with him, I wish his class can be over soon.. after that, I got used to it… There is still some long way for you… after settled with job, may have to think of setting up a family, when have time – start to think about knowledge upgrade… just go step by step. It is not easy but with endurance and a strong will, it can be overcome.
Tell me more about your workplace… ha ha.. I always like to know what is happening outside the world whenever I met up with my friends or classmates… always be thankful of what you’ve now… never look back.. talk to your good friend/boyfriend and get over the “blues”.. only monthly “blues” that a boy can’t understand… ok ok… talking like “aunty”
Got to work… really got to work leh.. contactless card guys are here to set up the controllers. Write me when you’re free. Take good care.. Elaine
Saturday, April 30, 2005
RIGHT ABOUT NOW
So much things had happened in the month of April. In late March I received a rude shock from Cliff that he wanted to give up his current life in KL to pursue studies in KK, as a trade-off between father and son - stay in KK to keep his parents company in return to get his debts cleared. We had late night talks over the phone: tears, harsh words, stoned silence and awkward warmth were displayed out like poker cards. Just when I was emotionally drained, Cliff's company called back to offer me a job position. That created more chaos because at that moment, Cliff was still in David's position - the thinker, trying to weigh the pros and cons of his abrupt decision. After all the swirls, twirls, turns, twists, bumps and watever-ever, he decided to stay on and face the money-music.. whereas I readily agreed to join the company. Both of us are to make sure that his debts will be cleared all by himself by opting for fixed instalments and saving a sum of money on a monthly basis is a slash-throat-MUST.
Then in mid-April I started to organize my arrangements and plannings for the relocation. It ain't easy, for I have to allocate a certain amount of savings for family, insurance, etc; procedures to transport Tiger to KL; important tasks to do, stuff buy and bring to KL; contract-signing in KL; handover duties at work and at home, pack pack pack and ETC ETC, all these to be done within a month. It was mad rush and, it still is!
Well, one big breather though. 29th April was my last working day in the company. I swear, I have never slogged so much for a week, just to hand-over all my duties to my colleagues. Documentations-one after another, clearing mails, packing personal belongings, asset checking, software un-installations, briefings & meetings, lunches with bosses and concerned colleagues... It felt as though the most noteworthy point in my five working years is only this particular week. Black comedy, eh?
The ironic part was that as much as I dissed the people there, hated the unchallenging work, I had an unbearable feeling of sadness when I was leaving my office for the one last time. I kept looking back at my cubicle, my workstation, my server, the clusters, the whole environment till I couldn't see straight anymore. I was trying to take everything into my memory so I can enjoy strong and vivid flashbacks whenever I start dwelling on my ex-company. After dropping off my staff card and room key, the heart almost tore out by itself. I will not be able to access my room anymore... and that spells the end of my relationship with the company. Somehow, I never go easy on partings.
I will be tying up loose ends for the whole of next week, days+nights of packing and loads of followups. And right after that, it's a new life in another country. Hmm, I really dunno what and how to expect, dunno what to foresee, have so much to worry, no time to think in peace and yet I still have so many things to settle before going over...
"if you always do what you always did, you will always get what you always got. it's important to move on."
So much things had happened in the month of April. In late March I received a rude shock from Cliff that he wanted to give up his current life in KL to pursue studies in KK, as a trade-off between father and son - stay in KK to keep his parents company in return to get his debts cleared. We had late night talks over the phone: tears, harsh words, stoned silence and awkward warmth were displayed out like poker cards. Just when I was emotionally drained, Cliff's company called back to offer me a job position. That created more chaos because at that moment, Cliff was still in David's position - the thinker, trying to weigh the pros and cons of his abrupt decision. After all the swirls, twirls, turns, twists, bumps and watever-ever, he decided to stay on and face the money-music.. whereas I readily agreed to join the company. Both of us are to make sure that his debts will be cleared all by himself by opting for fixed instalments and saving a sum of money on a monthly basis is a slash-throat-MUST.
Then in mid-April I started to organize my arrangements and plannings for the relocation. It ain't easy, for I have to allocate a certain amount of savings for family, insurance, etc; procedures to transport Tiger to KL; important tasks to do, stuff buy and bring to KL; contract-signing in KL; handover duties at work and at home, pack pack pack and ETC ETC, all these to be done within a month. It was mad rush and, it still is!
Well, one big breather though. 29th April was my last working day in the company. I swear, I have never slogged so much for a week, just to hand-over all my duties to my colleagues. Documentations-one after another, clearing mails, packing personal belongings, asset checking, software un-installations, briefings & meetings, lunches with bosses and concerned colleagues... It felt as though the most noteworthy point in my five working years is only this particular week. Black comedy, eh?
The ironic part was that as much as I dissed the people there, hated the unchallenging work, I had an unbearable feeling of sadness when I was leaving my office for the one last time. I kept looking back at my cubicle, my workstation, my server, the clusters, the whole environment till I couldn't see straight anymore. I was trying to take everything into my memory so I can enjoy strong and vivid flashbacks whenever I start dwelling on my ex-company. After dropping off my staff card and room key, the heart almost tore out by itself. I will not be able to access my room anymore... and that spells the end of my relationship with the company. Somehow, I never go easy on partings.
I will be tying up loose ends for the whole of next week, days+nights of packing and loads of followups. And right after that, it's a new life in another country. Hmm, I really dunno what and how to expect, dunno what to foresee, have so much to worry, no time to think in peace and yet I still have so many things to settle before going over...
"if you always do what you always did, you will always get what you always got. it's important to move on."
Thursday, March 24, 2005
AS PROMISED
Yes.. about that navel piercing.
For 28 years of my life, I have never participated in any body arts nor piercings. Though they did crossed my mind many times throughout the years I just did not muster enough courage to go for it. Besides, mom has vehemently opposed to any tattoos to be imprinted onto any parts of my body and she displayed the similar warning as to my pleas to ride a sweet & innocent Vespa:
"If you did it without my consent, I'll break all ties with you!"
Facing such a powerful threat, all the negotiations I had been plotting before the discussion were cancelled out without a doubt.
Anyway, a month before my 28th birthday I decided to do it once and for all. Navel piercing is the best option. It's something mild, less risky, less painful and a babystep to the world of body arts. Thru word of mouth I managed to find a shop where I can enjoy discounts by friend's recommendation. Not only that, I conducted intensive research on the basic knowledge of navel piercing as well as thorough read-up on its aftercare two weeks before the execution. Hey, its my skin at stake and my health at risk so it's always good to gain some knowledge before you venture anything, aight!
I pulled my girlfriends to be my cheerleaders and off we went, on the 18th of Feb. Rinku, the pretty piercer gave me a lot of freedom on the choice of studs and even took time to repeat the aftercare instructions. Well that was before the piercing.. can you imagine how nervous I was?! Finally she led me to a little room where I was told to lie down on an old dentist chair... gawd, the whole setting would look like a scene from Hellraiser if there was power failure in her shop. After I was settled down with eyes staring at the ceiling, Rinku busied herself with sterilization, cleaning up, taking measurements etc.. I began to daydream until a sharp pain fired into my nerves almost immediately yet, briefly. It was almost like the thick needle piercing thru your veins at the blood donation drive, except it was done without anaesthesia.
And so there, my crystal stud hung on my navel like a sore thumb. Of course my cheerleaders did their part; they teased me of pale face and wet eyes even though they were kept outside the execution room.
Yeah, these are my girls alright.
At first I thought water could cause abrasive pain onto the wound but no, it didn't. There was slight discomfort during the cleaning (twice a day with saline for the first week, seasalt solution from the second week onwards), oh yeah I clean them religiously, no matter how early I have to head out, how late I reach home or how my mind always starts to shutdown for the journey to dreamland... I clean them accordingly, without fail, without a break from routine and without any mishaps. But guess what? I had infection towards the end of first week. White pus that couldn't be removed. The area began to look awfully red and sore. Suddenly the supposed-to-be artwork became mutated. I hurried over to Rinku and she gave me another set of detailed instructions. Since then, everything seems fine but it still looks unhealthy. Erh.. I guess it's due to the reckless intakes of seafood and eggs. I just can't resist them! :P
Attached is a pic of my little gem, taken a day after the piercing. It looks pretty neat huh? That wasn't so when the infection crowded around the wound but I shall spare you from any graphic details... not that I dun have any *wink*
(by the way, mom doesn't know. YET.)
Yes.. about that navel piercing.
For 28 years of my life, I have never participated in any body arts nor piercings. Though they did crossed my mind many times throughout the years I just did not muster enough courage to go for it. Besides, mom has vehemently opposed to any tattoos to be imprinted onto any parts of my body and she displayed the similar warning as to my pleas to ride a sweet & innocent Vespa:
"If you did it without my consent, I'll break all ties with you!"
Facing such a powerful threat, all the negotiations I had been plotting before the discussion were cancelled out without a doubt.
Anyway, a month before my 28th birthday I decided to do it once and for all. Navel piercing is the best option. It's something mild, less risky, less painful and a babystep to the world of body arts. Thru word of mouth I managed to find a shop where I can enjoy discounts by friend's recommendation. Not only that, I conducted intensive research on the basic knowledge of navel piercing as well as thorough read-up on its aftercare two weeks before the execution. Hey, its my skin at stake and my health at risk so it's always good to gain some knowledge before you venture anything, aight!
I pulled my girlfriends to be my cheerleaders and off we went, on the 18th of Feb. Rinku, the pretty piercer gave me a lot of freedom on the choice of studs and even took time to repeat the aftercare instructions. Well that was before the piercing.. can you imagine how nervous I was?! Finally she led me to a little room where I was told to lie down on an old dentist chair... gawd, the whole setting would look like a scene from Hellraiser if there was power failure in her shop. After I was settled down with eyes staring at the ceiling, Rinku busied herself with sterilization, cleaning up, taking measurements etc.. I began to daydream until a sharp pain fired into my nerves almost immediately yet, briefly. It was almost like the thick needle piercing thru your veins at the blood donation drive, except it was done without anaesthesia.
And so there, my crystal stud hung on my navel like a sore thumb. Of course my cheerleaders did their part; they teased me of pale face and wet eyes even though they were kept outside the execution room.
Yeah, these are my girls alright.
At first I thought water could cause abrasive pain onto the wound but no, it didn't. There was slight discomfort during the cleaning (twice a day with saline for the first week, seasalt solution from the second week onwards), oh yeah I clean them religiously, no matter how early I have to head out, how late I reach home or how my mind always starts to shutdown for the journey to dreamland... I clean them accordingly, without fail, without a break from routine and without any mishaps. But guess what? I had infection towards the end of first week. White pus that couldn't be removed. The area began to look awfully red and sore. Suddenly the supposed-to-be artwork became mutated. I hurried over to Rinku and she gave me another set of detailed instructions. Since then, everything seems fine but it still looks unhealthy. Erh.. I guess it's due to the reckless intakes of seafood and eggs. I just can't resist them! :P
Attached is a pic of my little gem, taken a day after the piercing. It looks pretty neat huh? That wasn't so when the infection crowded around the wound but I shall spare you from any graphic details... not that I dun have any *wink*
(by the way, mom doesn't know. YET.)
Friday, February 25, 2005
WIND OF CHANGE
I was on three days' work leave earlier this week. My birthday falls on Tuesday and erh, there wasn't anything to mention about that day. Briefly, my small cake was literally on fire with ten candles blazing away, family teased me on my coming-of-age (to be married off) and the ridiculous $40-KFC for dinner. Last night, I received a sweet&sexy lingerie set from Trish for my birthday. Though it arrived a few days late, you'll be surprised that it's the first gift that came into my hands.
When I was enjoying my last flickering moment with Cliff, before he was about to board the coach, Marwan delivered shocking news: My PRC manager has been ousted. Her rival will become the only Unit Manager in my department. I can really imagine how her face will contort into indescribable rage and her curly hair sizzling away, transforming into snakes. She must have felt the awful defeat enveloping her, the shame flushing into her dark eyes and thinking that her subordinates are jumping with joy, dancing in circles, happy tears flowing unconditionally with eyes looking at the sky with gratitude.
Anyway, my instant thought went to Claudia. If she chose to stay on, this is the day she would have lived for. A release from the manager's mental clutches and an extraordinary chance for Claudia to laugh right in front of her face. Not only that, two of us will take a trip to Holland Village and enjoy an expensive lunch, top it up with red wine.. glasses clinking to celebrate our victory. Then back in office we will go around visiting those PRC programmers (who are her worshippers), talk to them, made snide remarks and tell them to better start worrying about their futures. HAHAHA.. that would be so wonderful!
But Claudia's long gone, not associated to us anymore. So I can only fantasize all these in my warped mind. However, it doesn't take a genius to know that my unit manager is discreetly holding her own celebration somewhere in a corner with her few followers. It may look like normal office politics to you, but between these two managers, it's a battle of the bitches and a survival of the fittest.
I gonna write about my navel piercing soon. Stay tuned (please?)
I was on three days' work leave earlier this week. My birthday falls on Tuesday and erh, there wasn't anything to mention about that day. Briefly, my small cake was literally on fire with ten candles blazing away, family teased me on my coming-of-age (to be married off) and the ridiculous $40-KFC for dinner. Last night, I received a sweet&sexy lingerie set from Trish for my birthday. Though it arrived a few days late, you'll be surprised that it's the first gift that came into my hands.
When I was enjoying my last flickering moment with Cliff, before he was about to board the coach, Marwan delivered shocking news: My PRC manager has been ousted. Her rival will become the only Unit Manager in my department. I can really imagine how her face will contort into indescribable rage and her curly hair sizzling away, transforming into snakes. She must have felt the awful defeat enveloping her, the shame flushing into her dark eyes and thinking that her subordinates are jumping with joy, dancing in circles, happy tears flowing unconditionally with eyes looking at the sky with gratitude.
Anyway, my instant thought went to Claudia. If she chose to stay on, this is the day she would have lived for. A release from the manager's mental clutches and an extraordinary chance for Claudia to laugh right in front of her face. Not only that, two of us will take a trip to Holland Village and enjoy an expensive lunch, top it up with red wine.. glasses clinking to celebrate our victory. Then back in office we will go around visiting those PRC programmers (who are her worshippers), talk to them, made snide remarks and tell them to better start worrying about their futures. HAHAHA.. that would be so wonderful!
But Claudia's long gone, not associated to us anymore. So I can only fantasize all these in my warped mind. However, it doesn't take a genius to know that my unit manager is discreetly holding her own celebration somewhere in a corner with her few followers. It may look like normal office politics to you, but between these two managers, it's a battle of the bitches and a survival of the fittest.
I gonna write about my navel piercing soon. Stay tuned (please?)
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
OF BOOKS AND DVDS
Here I am again, blabbering about books I had sucked up and dvds I had indulged myself in. Over the months, I had conquered Tony Parson's Man and Boy, Man and Wife, Hillary Rodham Clinton's Living History and Reader Digests.
Tony Parson's a true blue Brit. His novels are full of british humour and witty dialogues. His are mostly about how a man in thirties coping with divorce, single parenthood, second marriage, infidelities and a sparse view of men handling their mid-life crisis.
Enjoyable read during rides and night-caps.
Living History proved to be a challenge. 865 pages with photographs. It chronicles the life of ex-President's wife, her life as a carefree and studious child to adulthood, struggles in the White House and retiring as a public figure after eight years in Washington. But she rises up again as a New York senator, fighting for a place in the Republican skies.
At first I thought she's just a typical politician, a radical woman trying to gain publicity by publishing her story due to so many controversies (whitewater, lewinsky etc) that happened in her life. But well, after devouring the eight hundred odd pages, I have to say she's an admirable character. She has a persona that inspires women around the world to stand out and shine with the men. Of course, she might exaggerate in her novel but who doesn't? Media has the worst hits.
I spent my Sundays watching The LadyKillers (by Tom Hanks) and Spanglish (Adam Sandler, Tea Leoni, Paz Vegas).
Nothing much to yak about the former except I absolutely like the southern accent which most of the cast managed to pull it off. Tom Hanks is convincing in his role as a swindler cum artyfarty professional thief. This film was written, directed and produced by the Cohen brothers (O Brother, Where Art Thou).
As for Spanglish, it has succeeded in pulling a tiny tear off my eyes. Though whole film was a little draggy, Adam Sandler wins my vote. No lame jokes, no funny actions from him. So don't expect it to be a comedy. Story revolves around a young and gorgeous mexican mother, along with her daughter, hailed to America for a better future. Flor worked in a hispanic community until she was being offered as a part time housekeeper in one of those white suburban neighbourhoods. She met the Clasky family where Tea Leoni was the self-possessed and constantly depressed housewife whereas Adam Sandler was her loving husband and a widely recognized chef. Though Flor didn't want to be involved in Clasky's way of life she soon found herself embroiled in their conflicting issues and affairs. The scene where Flor and Mr Clasky found themselves alone at the beach was magical and the last night where both of them decided to get a little cosier in his restaurant struck a bittersweet chord in my heart.
Okie, back to my Reader Digest.. few more pages to go.
Happy New Year, peeps.
Here I am again, blabbering about books I had sucked up and dvds I had indulged myself in. Over the months, I had conquered Tony Parson's Man and Boy, Man and Wife, Hillary Rodham Clinton's Living History and Reader Digests.
Tony Parson's a true blue Brit. His novels are full of british humour and witty dialogues. His are mostly about how a man in thirties coping with divorce, single parenthood, second marriage, infidelities and a sparse view of men handling their mid-life crisis.
Enjoyable read during rides and night-caps.
Living History proved to be a challenge. 865 pages with photographs. It chronicles the life of ex-President's wife, her life as a carefree and studious child to adulthood, struggles in the White House and retiring as a public figure after eight years in Washington. But she rises up again as a New York senator, fighting for a place in the Republican skies.
At first I thought she's just a typical politician, a radical woman trying to gain publicity by publishing her story due to so many controversies (whitewater, lewinsky etc) that happened in her life. But well, after devouring the eight hundred odd pages, I have to say she's an admirable character. She has a persona that inspires women around the world to stand out and shine with the men. Of course, she might exaggerate in her novel but who doesn't? Media has the worst hits.
I spent my Sundays watching The LadyKillers (by Tom Hanks) and Spanglish (Adam Sandler, Tea Leoni, Paz Vegas).
Nothing much to yak about the former except I absolutely like the southern accent which most of the cast managed to pull it off. Tom Hanks is convincing in his role as a swindler cum artyfarty professional thief. This film was written, directed and produced by the Cohen brothers (O Brother, Where Art Thou).
As for Spanglish, it has succeeded in pulling a tiny tear off my eyes. Though whole film was a little draggy, Adam Sandler wins my vote. No lame jokes, no funny actions from him. So don't expect it to be a comedy. Story revolves around a young and gorgeous mexican mother, along with her daughter, hailed to America for a better future. Flor worked in a hispanic community until she was being offered as a part time housekeeper in one of those white suburban neighbourhoods. She met the Clasky family where Tea Leoni was the self-possessed and constantly depressed housewife whereas Adam Sandler was her loving husband and a widely recognized chef. Though Flor didn't want to be involved in Clasky's way of life she soon found herself embroiled in their conflicting issues and affairs. The scene where Flor and Mr Clasky found themselves alone at the beach was magical and the last night where both of them decided to get a little cosier in his restaurant struck a bittersweet chord in my heart.
Okie, back to my Reader Digest.. few more pages to go.
Happy New Year, peeps.
Sunday, February 06, 2005
SETBACKS
On a fine working day in my cosy cubicle, I was trying to find the lyrics of a particular song in Bridget Jones soundtrack. After some intense searchings, I managed to find the website. Full of joy and anticipation, I clicked on anything that popped out from the website that prevented me from advancing into the lyric's page. Suddenly a series of installations took place by themselves, things happened so fast that when TrendOffice showed up with spot-on viruses, my mind was still focused on getting the lyrics. And that was the beginning of my struggle with spywares.
Let's not go to the part where panic started to take full control of my nerve system, the futile attempts in restoring my computer, the four-days' overtime in the office battling with the viruses alone and tens of email exchanges with computer centre's techs.
From the above sentence you would have agreed that these efforts should be given an A-Distinction in theory but pathetically, no positive results were produced. Finally my ego crumbled and I begged for the tech's help.
He came, inspected my ailing computer and ended my misery within an hour's time. He reformatted my C drive.
Please imagine my feelings.. all the nail-bitings and hair-pullings for the trouble a website had caused for the entire wipeout.
I HATE SPYWARES FOREVER AND EVER.
Not to forget, I am not going to find that worthless piece of lyrics anymore.
Anyway just for your information, I didn't ace the job interview. In fact, I screwed it. Maybe the word 'screw' shouldn't be used during that critical moment, which I did. Well, if they can't appreciate my admirable courage for being unpretentious, then SCREW THEM.
After such traumatic experience in being rejected without given any clear answer, I want to buffer off my bottled feelings by drafting up some Q&As that often occur in job interviews.
Here goes:
Q1. Tell me about yourself.
A1. My name is Agnes, born in 1977. My dad is a businessman, mom a housewife. Erh..wait. You're holding my resume, aren't you? Turn to page two. Yes there.. my introduction. You can refer from there, can't you? My my, you didn't do any preparation before meeting me?
Q2. Briefly describe your current jobscope.
A2. I wish I don't have to remind you again. It's all stated in my resume. If this is one of the sly tricks to test my consistencies, nice try. Resumes are submitted for employers' reference, so work on it, will ya?
Q3. Why do you want to leave your present job?
A3. I was advised not to speak ill of my boss, my colleagues and my company. But I feel that my grievances should be heard whenever someone ask for them. If you can just spare half an hour of your time for this answer...
Q4. In your current job, what is the greatest achievement you had accomplished?
A4. Well, over the years I have accumulated 50GB of songs and movies from Kazaa and stored them into a hard drive to serve as a database for my colleagues to download as and when they like.
Q5. What do you know about our company?
A5. I did my own read up before coming to this interview. But since interview happens between two individuals who have a common interest to know more about one another, isn't it right for you to answer your own question, instead of hammering me with so many oxymoranic questions?
Q6. Why do you think we should hire you?
A6. Because you and I are spending an hour or more here, not doing anything that's constructive which means, wasting our time trying to know each other in a so-called professional way, checking each other's facial expressions, clothings, mannerisms discreetly. I'm sure you'll agree this is time-wasting. So let's cut the crap and hire me right now.
Q7. Where do you see yourself in five years' time?
A7. Simple. I'll be your replacement in a year or so, kick the director's arse when it came to the fifth year. What follows on will be attending countless interviews like the one we're having now.
Q8. Briefly tell me some of your strengths and weaknesses.
A8. I'm as good as an interviewer asking difficult questions and I'm as bad as an interviewee lying throughout the session just to make herself look good in all aspects.
Q9. Do you have any hobbies?
A9. Yes, bitching with fellow colleagues on our boss.
Q10. What is your expected salary?
A10. It's stated in my cover letter, so you can take a moment and read it again, well, that is if you have ever read it before. By the way, though I had stated it is negotiable, I wouldn't expect you to cut half a dough off and give excuses like I don't have the experience or skillsets for the job. If you want me, the money is worth it. No pain no gain. No guts no glory.
On a fine working day in my cosy cubicle, I was trying to find the lyrics of a particular song in Bridget Jones soundtrack. After some intense searchings, I managed to find the website. Full of joy and anticipation, I clicked on anything that popped out from the website that prevented me from advancing into the lyric's page. Suddenly a series of installations took place by themselves, things happened so fast that when TrendOffice showed up with spot-on viruses, my mind was still focused on getting the lyrics. And that was the beginning of my struggle with spywares.
Let's not go to the part where panic started to take full control of my nerve system, the futile attempts in restoring my computer, the four-days' overtime in the office battling with the viruses alone and tens of email exchanges with computer centre's techs.
From the above sentence you would have agreed that these efforts should be given an A-Distinction in theory but pathetically, no positive results were produced. Finally my ego crumbled and I begged for the tech's help.
He came, inspected my ailing computer and ended my misery within an hour's time. He reformatted my C drive.
Please imagine my feelings.. all the nail-bitings and hair-pullings for the trouble a website had caused for the entire wipeout.
I HATE SPYWARES FOREVER AND EVER.
Not to forget, I am not going to find that worthless piece of lyrics anymore.
Anyway just for your information, I didn't ace the job interview. In fact, I screwed it. Maybe the word 'screw' shouldn't be used during that critical moment, which I did. Well, if they can't appreciate my admirable courage for being unpretentious, then SCREW THEM.
After such traumatic experience in being rejected without given any clear answer, I want to buffer off my bottled feelings by drafting up some Q&As that often occur in job interviews.
Here goes:
Q1. Tell me about yourself.
A1. My name is Agnes, born in 1977. My dad is a businessman, mom a housewife. Erh..wait. You're holding my resume, aren't you? Turn to page two. Yes there.. my introduction. You can refer from there, can't you? My my, you didn't do any preparation before meeting me?
Q2. Briefly describe your current jobscope.
A2. I wish I don't have to remind you again. It's all stated in my resume. If this is one of the sly tricks to test my consistencies, nice try. Resumes are submitted for employers' reference, so work on it, will ya?
Q3. Why do you want to leave your present job?
A3. I was advised not to speak ill of my boss, my colleagues and my company. But I feel that my grievances should be heard whenever someone ask for them. If you can just spare half an hour of your time for this answer...
Q4. In your current job, what is the greatest achievement you had accomplished?
A4. Well, over the years I have accumulated 50GB of songs and movies from Kazaa and stored them into a hard drive to serve as a database for my colleagues to download as and when they like.
Q5. What do you know about our company?
A5. I did my own read up before coming to this interview. But since interview happens between two individuals who have a common interest to know more about one another, isn't it right for you to answer your own question, instead of hammering me with so many oxymoranic questions?
Q6. Why do you think we should hire you?
A6. Because you and I are spending an hour or more here, not doing anything that's constructive which means, wasting our time trying to know each other in a so-called professional way, checking each other's facial expressions, clothings, mannerisms discreetly. I'm sure you'll agree this is time-wasting. So let's cut the crap and hire me right now.
Q7. Where do you see yourself in five years' time?
A7. Simple. I'll be your replacement in a year or so, kick the director's arse when it came to the fifth year. What follows on will be attending countless interviews like the one we're having now.
Q8. Briefly tell me some of your strengths and weaknesses.
A8. I'm as good as an interviewer asking difficult questions and I'm as bad as an interviewee lying throughout the session just to make herself look good in all aspects.
Q9. Do you have any hobbies?
A9. Yes, bitching with fellow colleagues on our boss.
Q10. What is your expected salary?
A10. It's stated in my cover letter, so you can take a moment and read it again, well, that is if you have ever read it before. By the way, though I had stated it is negotiable, I wouldn't expect you to cut half a dough off and give excuses like I don't have the experience or skillsets for the job. If you want me, the money is worth it. No pain no gain. No guts no glory.
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
MY CHOICE, MY LIFE
Right, it's year 2005. Past the millenium craze, five years into the new century. Feeling older and hopefully wiser, I need to set a new direction for my bumpless life.
Went to KL in mid-December for New Year countdown but fireworks were dampened by the raging tsunami. All outdoor parties were cancelled in Malaysia. But we managed to witness a spontaneous event held in one of the Bangsar streets. People were spraying confetti and fake snow at passerbys and vehicles, causing the street to look like the terrible aftermath of tsunami in Phuket, except the street was full of empty cans, colorful confetti and slippery road.
Came back feeling refreshed and ready to take on any shit, I was asked to head back to KL for a job interview. So there I went again, in mid-January and had a casual meeting with the guy. I was feeling good, hopeful actually, after 1.5 hours of Q&A. But during the journey back to Singapore, I had more than enough time to slowly reflect the nitty-gritty details that happened during the interview. That was when I realized not only had I made stupid mistakes, I had made myself appear desperate, lack of confidence and insincere. I fell into his web of tricky questions like a dumb fly. ARGH!
Anyway, these two recent trips to KL allowed me to spend more time with Cliff. However, as a saying goes, a couple may click well together but may not be the same when they live together. We had some adaptibility issues during my second trip.
1) He doesn't trust my cooking skills; 2) We couldn't compromise on the type of things to do together.
Tacky isn't it? It wasn't that bad until two of us blew it off during a phone conversation yesterday. The effects were shocking. He mentioned the ultimatium which pissed me off totally. Though we had agreed to sweep the angry words into the chute this morning, I am acutely aware that the issues won't disappear just like that. There might be a sequel. Hmmm.
Sometimes I don't know where I'm heading. There are choices opening up for me: new life in KL; further studies; new job in Singapore. Most of the nights I will indulge my time in thinking of all the possibilities for my better future and can almost imagine myself standing on a dusty road that spreads into several small roads, like a fork. I am afraid, worried whatever road I take will end up in a future that doesn't fulfil my expectations. Ain't a risk taker but this time, it is inevitable for me to take a step into the unknown.
Oh ye, today marks the 5th year anniversary of my working life in the current company. No sense of satisfaction nor achievement.. but a terrible feeling of dread and fear.
Right, it's year 2005. Past the millenium craze, five years into the new century. Feeling older and hopefully wiser, I need to set a new direction for my bumpless life.
Went to KL in mid-December for New Year countdown but fireworks were dampened by the raging tsunami. All outdoor parties were cancelled in Malaysia. But we managed to witness a spontaneous event held in one of the Bangsar streets. People were spraying confetti and fake snow at passerbys and vehicles, causing the street to look like the terrible aftermath of tsunami in Phuket, except the street was full of empty cans, colorful confetti and slippery road.
Came back feeling refreshed and ready to take on any shit, I was asked to head back to KL for a job interview. So there I went again, in mid-January and had a casual meeting with the guy. I was feeling good, hopeful actually, after 1.5 hours of Q&A. But during the journey back to Singapore, I had more than enough time to slowly reflect the nitty-gritty details that happened during the interview. That was when I realized not only had I made stupid mistakes, I had made myself appear desperate, lack of confidence and insincere. I fell into his web of tricky questions like a dumb fly. ARGH!
Anyway, these two recent trips to KL allowed me to spend more time with Cliff. However, as a saying goes, a couple may click well together but may not be the same when they live together. We had some adaptibility issues during my second trip.
1) He doesn't trust my cooking skills; 2) We couldn't compromise on the type of things to do together.
Tacky isn't it? It wasn't that bad until two of us blew it off during a phone conversation yesterday. The effects were shocking. He mentioned the ultimatium which pissed me off totally. Though we had agreed to sweep the angry words into the chute this morning, I am acutely aware that the issues won't disappear just like that. There might be a sequel. Hmmm.
Sometimes I don't know where I'm heading. There are choices opening up for me: new life in KL; further studies; new job in Singapore. Most of the nights I will indulge my time in thinking of all the possibilities for my better future and can almost imagine myself standing on a dusty road that spreads into several small roads, like a fork. I am afraid, worried whatever road I take will end up in a future that doesn't fulfil my expectations. Ain't a risk taker but this time, it is inevitable for me to take a step into the unknown.
Oh ye, today marks the 5th year anniversary of my working life in the current company. No sense of satisfaction nor achievement.. but a terrible feeling of dread and fear.
TOP TEN NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS THAT DON'T WORK
1. I SOLEMNLY SWEAR... TO QUIT SMOKING
- probably the mother of all resolutions that don't EVER work, but you're allowed to feel good for trying for, like, 2 hours.
2. TO CUT DOWN ON THE ALCOHOL AND OTHER STIMULANTS
- all you have to do is make friends with old folks and nuns and you'll be just fine.
2. TO LOSE WEIGHT
- yeah, uhuh. fat chance.
3. TO START EXERCISING AND LIVING A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE
- enroll yourself in an overpriced gym only to quit a couple of months down the line. isn't that what everybody does?
4. TO BE KIND TO OTHERS
- how long can you seriously bite your tongue, punch walls and throw objects just to be nice?
5. TO GIVE MORE TO CHARITY
- instead of buying that pack of cigarettes, why not give that money for some goodwill. but you'd rather not...
6. TO STOP LYING
- you're lying right now.
7. TO STOP JERKING OFF AT WORK
- those with cubicles probably have a harder time with this one.
8. TO STICK TO MY BUDGET
- budgets are meant to be stretched, aren't they?
9. TO BE PUNCTUAL
- isn't it a national past time not to be punctual?
10. TO KEEP TO LAST YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS
- why think of new ones when you've got old ones to work with?
1. I SOLEMNLY SWEAR... TO QUIT SMOKING
- probably the mother of all resolutions that don't EVER work, but you're allowed to feel good for trying for, like, 2 hours.
2. TO CUT DOWN ON THE ALCOHOL AND OTHER STIMULANTS
- all you have to do is make friends with old folks and nuns and you'll be just fine.
2. TO LOSE WEIGHT
- yeah, uhuh. fat chance.
3. TO START EXERCISING AND LIVING A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE
- enroll yourself in an overpriced gym only to quit a couple of months down the line. isn't that what everybody does?
4. TO BE KIND TO OTHERS
- how long can you seriously bite your tongue, punch walls and throw objects just to be nice?
5. TO GIVE MORE TO CHARITY
- instead of buying that pack of cigarettes, why not give that money for some goodwill. but you'd rather not...
6. TO STOP LYING
- you're lying right now.
7. TO STOP JERKING OFF AT WORK
- those with cubicles probably have a harder time with this one.
8. TO STICK TO MY BUDGET
- budgets are meant to be stretched, aren't they?
9. TO BE PUNCTUAL
- isn't it a national past time not to be punctual?
10. TO KEEP TO LAST YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS
- why think of new ones when you've got old ones to work with?
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