REFRESHED AND RENEWED, I HOPE.
Ever since the saga with Cliff, i have refrained from blogging. In a way it has exposed parts of our private lives to the public, even though I'm okay doesn't mean he's fine with it.
Thus, I have to be careful here.
I'm in Singapore for almost two weeks now and will be departing on 18th evening. Initially I left KL with great reluctance because I will miss my daily routine, but this feeling is mounted due to not knowing what to expect in Singapore.
However I am going to leave this fine city in greater resistance. It's the first time for the past one year I have truly relaxed and feel connected with my family and friends. Not only that, I am starting to appreciate all the things this land offers me. There have been changes among my loved ones and the city.. but I understand time and change co-exist together.
Thoughts are forming incessantly in my mind to move back. There are many issues to settle if I gonna make it happen.. current job, new career, cliff, cats...
I think I'm standing in front of crossroad again :(
Leaving home this friday, bringing additions of happy memories and some regrets that will remain deep in my heart.
Monday, May 08, 2006
GUILT
7th May 2006.
Grumpie passed away. Last I checked, her feet were free from mites but she was losing feathers around the neck. We were preparing to bring her to the vet in the late afternoon but it was too late.
She was such a lovely budgie yet she suffered so much. I neglected her health and my poor knowledge has caused her death. By the time my slow senses came alive that she needed help, her soul took off to heaven.
I'm so sorry, Grumpie. Please forgive your lousy owner.
Hope you're reunited with Starsky, Hutchie and Sushie in rainbow bridge under God's care. And I promise to all of you, my dear budgies, that I will not keep any birds from now on. Nor will I attempt to neglect any of my pets.
Keeping my word in honour.
7th May 2006.
Grumpie passed away. Last I checked, her feet were free from mites but she was losing feathers around the neck. We were preparing to bring her to the vet in the late afternoon but it was too late.
She was such a lovely budgie yet she suffered so much. I neglected her health and my poor knowledge has caused her death. By the time my slow senses came alive that she needed help, her soul took off to heaven.
I'm so sorry, Grumpie. Please forgive your lousy owner.
Hope you're reunited with Starsky, Hutchie and Sushie in rainbow bridge under God's care. And I promise to all of you, my dear budgies, that I will not keep any birds from now on. Nor will I attempt to neglect any of my pets.
Keeping my word in honour.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
A PAIR OF KITTENS
Say hi to Maya and Dewey.
Both of them came from the same parent and they have the same nose :)
Currently isolated from my cats due to lice problem, we keep them in the guest room and play with them whenever we can. Hopefully by end of next week they will be in pink of health and able to roam freely around the house.
Maya
She's the daring one, on the third day we brought them back she tried ways to slip out from the room. Ignoring Aramis, she could zoom out to the stairway before I caught hold of her. We notice that she's born with happy-go-lucky character and loves to cuddle.
Dewey
We're supposed to name him Russ, special request from Adrian. But after few days we figured the name just doesn't suit him so we changed to Dewey. By comparison, this fella is not a risk taker. He wouldn't attempt to do anything and prefers to let Maya take the lead. We can also sense he wants to be the dominant male in the house. Even Stitch is afraid of his growls and hissings.
As for Aramis, he has been spending a lot of time checking them out even though it's through closed door. He would put his paw through the opening and Maya would respond back. It's a good sign because Cliff has the intention to mate them once they reach the matured age. I wonder how their children will look like.. hmmm.
Will post more photos of my pets soon.
Ta!
Say hi to Maya and Dewey.
Both of them came from the same parent and they have the same nose :)
Currently isolated from my cats due to lice problem, we keep them in the guest room and play with them whenever we can. Hopefully by end of next week they will be in pink of health and able to roam freely around the house.
Maya
She's the daring one, on the third day we brought them back she tried ways to slip out from the room. Ignoring Aramis, she could zoom out to the stairway before I caught hold of her. We notice that she's born with happy-go-lucky character and loves to cuddle.
Dewey
We're supposed to name him Russ, special request from Adrian. But after few days we figured the name just doesn't suit him so we changed to Dewey. By comparison, this fella is not a risk taker. He wouldn't attempt to do anything and prefers to let Maya take the lead. We can also sense he wants to be the dominant male in the house. Even Stitch is afraid of his growls and hissings.
As for Aramis, he has been spending a lot of time checking them out even though it's through closed door. He would put his paw through the opening and Maya would respond back. It's a good sign because Cliff has the intention to mate them once they reach the matured age. I wonder how their children will look like.. hmmm.
Will post more photos of my pets soon.
Ta!
Sunday, April 30, 2006
I'D SAY IT'S BAD KHARMA
I survived the weekend with my relatives but I am guilty for not spending more time with mom. I was extremely tired on Friday and Saturday to the point I dozed off while talking to her on the couch. Sunday was good though, but my aunt took a huge chunk of quality time away from me while I had my hair cut and colored in another aunt's salon.
Talking about my hair.. It's been 6 months since I had it trimmed. Needless to say the style and length gone out of play and I took more time to create the best look than ironing my shirts. Therefore, I took the plunge by asking my aunt to snip away my dull hair. Adding an inch of courage I asked for coloring. Cousin pointed to a poster on the wall - the model has lustrious long hair, colored with mahogany and strips of light brown. I was honestly awed by his good choice and went for it. But when the towel lifted off all I could see was a lion's head.
IT'S FREAKING YELLOW!
I contained myself to a perfect score and everyone bought it.. till I reached home and whined to my mom. She maintained that it's unique and fresh. FRESH?! I look like a lalamui! I'm like a flashing beacon for goodness sake! Though the cut is satisfactory but coloring casts me in a total different image. Oh gosh.
AND MY COUSIN STAINED MY MISS SELFRIDGE SHIRT.
argh!!!!
It was the communication. On one hand I insisted on the exact color combination by pointing at the poster, the other hand my cousin told his mom that I wanted brown. Yellow and brown are two different colors!
On the phone I informed Cliff that I made my trip to Susan's Salon. He made a tiny "ah" sound and that was all. Afraid to divulge further I gave him a false impression that all went well, even encouraged him to try it next time since I only paid RM100. Wait till he sees me on Thursday.. weekend would be spending time at home cos he wouldn't want to be seen together with a self-declared blonde. Haha.
Goodbye Ms Coolhead. Sigh.
I survived the weekend with my relatives but I am guilty for not spending more time with mom. I was extremely tired on Friday and Saturday to the point I dozed off while talking to her on the couch. Sunday was good though, but my aunt took a huge chunk of quality time away from me while I had my hair cut and colored in another aunt's salon.
Talking about my hair.. It's been 6 months since I had it trimmed. Needless to say the style and length gone out of play and I took more time to create the best look than ironing my shirts. Therefore, I took the plunge by asking my aunt to snip away my dull hair. Adding an inch of courage I asked for coloring. Cousin pointed to a poster on the wall - the model has lustrious long hair, colored with mahogany and strips of light brown. I was honestly awed by his good choice and went for it. But when the towel lifted off all I could see was a lion's head.
IT'S FREAKING YELLOW!
I contained myself to a perfect score and everyone bought it.. till I reached home and whined to my mom. She maintained that it's unique and fresh. FRESH?! I look like a lalamui! I'm like a flashing beacon for goodness sake! Though the cut is satisfactory but coloring casts me in a total different image. Oh gosh.
AND MY COUSIN STAINED MY MISS SELFRIDGE SHIRT.
argh!!!!
It was the communication. On one hand I insisted on the exact color combination by pointing at the poster, the other hand my cousin told his mom that I wanted brown. Yellow and brown are two different colors!
On the phone I informed Cliff that I made my trip to Susan's Salon. He made a tiny "ah" sound and that was all. Afraid to divulge further I gave him a false impression that all went well, even encouraged him to try it next time since I only paid RM100. Wait till he sees me on Thursday.. weekend would be spending time at home cos he wouldn't want to be seen together with a self-declared blonde. Haha.
Goodbye Ms Coolhead. Sigh.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
RULES OF ENGAGEMENT
Many things happened lately.
Work
After two weeks' deliberation I have finally sent word to agency to renew my contract for another year. I also learnt that instead of seeing it as a recurring stupidity, it might be actually a blessing. Two colleagues were told their services won't be needed in another 2 months' time.
I was shocked. Given their senority I thought the much sought-after FTC will be in their hands without doubts. I guess this assumption adds salt to their wounds.
Family
Mom will be visiting tomorrow. She will be here to keep me company because Cliff will be in Sipadan for 5 days. It was all in good faith and happiness till Mom insisted on visiting relatives for two days.
TWO DAYS! It was unbearable to even think about it that I blurted my concerns without processing through my brains. She didn't call back for a week and when she did, it wasn't a friendly tone. Gosh, tell me about committments and meeting relatives is one of my fear factors!
On another hand, or rather in another country, my sis is battling ugly breakup from her boyfriend. Based on her stories, it's a never-ending drama series that can last for several seasons. First the frequent quarrels, then fights and advanced to police, restraining order, courts. My sis never stop shedding tears from the start till the end of their stormy relationship.
All I can say is.. a good lesson learnt but damn messy to untangle.
Cats
Aramis has grown in length and size but he's still a midget by normal standards. His fur is getting wilder though not fluffy enough. In other words, it looks like he will be having bad hair day for the rest of his life.
Oh.. we have new members, Maya and Dewey! Thanks to Adrian, we adopted them from his neighbour whom has too many cats in their house and they are really bad in taking care of them. Both of them have so many lice and lice-eggs on their bodies that it itches me to talk about it. Had since sent them to the vet and currently being separated from my three brats in another room. This will remain so till they are in the pink of health, or rather, lice-free :)
I will upload their pictures soon. And shall see how I'm gonna get screwed by my mom tomorrow when she sees them.. *gulp*
Many things happened lately.
Work
After two weeks' deliberation I have finally sent word to agency to renew my contract for another year. I also learnt that instead of seeing it as a recurring stupidity, it might be actually a blessing. Two colleagues were told their services won't be needed in another 2 months' time.
I was shocked. Given their senority I thought the much sought-after FTC will be in their hands without doubts. I guess this assumption adds salt to their wounds.
Family
Mom will be visiting tomorrow. She will be here to keep me company because Cliff will be in Sipadan for 5 days. It was all in good faith and happiness till Mom insisted on visiting relatives for two days.
TWO DAYS! It was unbearable to even think about it that I blurted my concerns without processing through my brains. She didn't call back for a week and when she did, it wasn't a friendly tone. Gosh, tell me about committments and meeting relatives is one of my fear factors!
On another hand, or rather in another country, my sis is battling ugly breakup from her boyfriend. Based on her stories, it's a never-ending drama series that can last for several seasons. First the frequent quarrels, then fights and advanced to police, restraining order, courts. My sis never stop shedding tears from the start till the end of their stormy relationship.
All I can say is.. a good lesson learnt but damn messy to untangle.
Cats
Aramis has grown in length and size but he's still a midget by normal standards. His fur is getting wilder though not fluffy enough. In other words, it looks like he will be having bad hair day for the rest of his life.
Oh.. we have new members, Maya and Dewey! Thanks to Adrian, we adopted them from his neighbour whom has too many cats in their house and they are really bad in taking care of them. Both of them have so many lice and lice-eggs on their bodies that it itches me to talk about it. Had since sent them to the vet and currently being separated from my three brats in another room. This will remain so till they are in the pink of health, or rather, lice-free :)
I will upload their pictures soon. And shall see how I'm gonna get screwed by my mom tomorrow when she sees them.. *gulp*
Sunday, March 19, 2006
MY BABIES
Ladies and gentleman, meet Aramis.. the youngest member in the family.
Born on 24th December 2005. Mixed mainecoon-persian (DSLH)
Mild temperament but very naughty. Looked up to Stitch as his brother and regards Tiger as discipline master. Not to forget Grumpie as his constant prey.
Stitch (DSH)
He's currently in heat. Making awful lots of noise, restless and looking sullen since his masters refuse to let him out.
Tiger (DSH)
The ever-wise cat in the house. Always gentle with humans. Cliff's dad even have thoughts to bring him back to KK!
Lastly, our soulful widow, Grumpie, allows us to touch and hold her without much resistance. She's always perched on the apple mirror looking at her own reflection. Loneliness creeps in..
~ I LOVE THEM ALL! MUACKS!
Ladies and gentleman, meet Aramis.. the youngest member in the family.
Born on 24th December 2005. Mixed mainecoon-persian (DSLH)
Mild temperament but very naughty. Looked up to Stitch as his brother and regards Tiger as discipline master. Not to forget Grumpie as his constant prey.
Stitch (DSH)
He's currently in heat. Making awful lots of noise, restless and looking sullen since his masters refuse to let him out.
Tiger (DSH)
The ever-wise cat in the house. Always gentle with humans. Cliff's dad even have thoughts to bring him back to KK!
Lastly, our soulful widow, Grumpie, allows us to touch and hold her without much resistance. She's always perched on the apple mirror looking at her own reflection. Loneliness creeps in..
~ I LOVE THEM ALL! MUACKS!
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
HELLO.. GOODBYE
Starsky passed away last night.
We found his body in the food dish. His eyes were wide-opened and the way it was positioned, seemed to me that Starsky had a sudden death. He was either enjoying his supper or maybe he had fallen from the branch right into the heaps of seeds.
Cliff woke me up during the night to let me have one last look at him. As we squatted there looking at the body resting inside the cage, none of us spoke. Grumpie was still perching on the branch, looking grey. I wonder what was Starsky's last words to her.
I can't understand why he died, all along he seems to be a figher among the budgies we bought to replace his partner. But when Jas blurted that it could be the attack of bird flu, I was motified.. because I'm having a slight flu right now :-/
Can't help feeling bitter-sweet. Two days ago we have welcomed the arrival of our cute kitten, Aramis.. the very next day Mr Starsky departed this world to reach for the stars.
Sigh.
Starsky passed away last night.
We found his body in the food dish. His eyes were wide-opened and the way it was positioned, seemed to me that Starsky had a sudden death. He was either enjoying his supper or maybe he had fallen from the branch right into the heaps of seeds.
Cliff woke me up during the night to let me have one last look at him. As we squatted there looking at the body resting inside the cage, none of us spoke. Grumpie was still perching on the branch, looking grey. I wonder what was Starsky's last words to her.
I can't understand why he died, all along he seems to be a figher among the budgies we bought to replace his partner. But when Jas blurted that it could be the attack of bird flu, I was motified.. because I'm having a slight flu right now :-/
Can't help feeling bitter-sweet. Two days ago we have welcomed the arrival of our cute kitten, Aramis.. the very next day Mr Starsky departed this world to reach for the stars.
Sigh.
Monday, January 02, 2006
FLY AWAY
New calendars, fresh page, chapters waiting to be turned, experiences to be gained and learned.. it's a bloody new year.
Refreshing? My arse, smell my fart please.
I want to turn back the time and go through the whole of 2005 again, and again and again. Especially to improve my time management skills, in order to spend more time with my family and amabel, my cousin.
She left for states late last night.
Another region, bloody thousand miles away from me.
With no plans to return.
Against everyone's wish, the departure was teary and heartbreaking.
Actually she started to cry when we were in QBar on 31st Dec 05, and I followed suit by dropping few big tears inside the pub. That night it was emo over amo.
And on the first day of 2006, we had to send her off late at night. She was edgy with quick smiles. I was prepared for a friendly farewell but the moment she wailed, tears welled up my eyes and my face was all wet when she made the final goodbye and exited out of my sight.
Everyone was red on the face.
How could we not, when all we have now are dark clouds and shadows without her beams of rays. She's always positive, obliging, inquisitive and full of imagination. Not to mention a very engaging, sociable and cheeky gal. Now, without her I feel terribly lost.. and horribly miserable.
I thought I could handle it. But I still get emotional whenever I think about you. I was afraid to cry, afraid to show my sadness in the public.. even in front of you. But I let out at the last moment and I want you to know that my heart is breaking over and over again.
I'm sorry there were times I was mad at you for small issues. I'm sorry I scolded you when you were 12 years old - greatly traumatized and you avoided me for so many years. I'm sorry if I made you feel like a kid or even made snide remarks at you.
I'm aware of how you feel, any tiniest emotions flashed across your face never escape my eyes but most of the times I refuse to acknowledge them because I am selfish-selfish-selfish..
Now that you're gone, words are just words..
Cliff said you'll be back, definitely, you'll come back.
I hope so........
*I MISS U*
New calendars, fresh page, chapters waiting to be turned, experiences to be gained and learned.. it's a bloody new year.
Refreshing? My arse, smell my fart please.
I want to turn back the time and go through the whole of 2005 again, and again and again. Especially to improve my time management skills, in order to spend more time with my family and amabel, my cousin.
She left for states late last night.
Another region, bloody thousand miles away from me.
With no plans to return.
Against everyone's wish, the departure was teary and heartbreaking.Actually she started to cry when we were in QBar on 31st Dec 05, and I followed suit by dropping few big tears inside the pub. That night it was emo over amo.
And on the first day of 2006, we had to send her off late at night. She was edgy with quick smiles. I was prepared for a friendly farewell but the moment she wailed, tears welled up my eyes and my face was all wet when she made the final goodbye and exited out of my sight.
Everyone was red on the face.
How could we not, when all we have now are dark clouds and shadows without her beams of rays. She's always positive, obliging, inquisitive and full of imagination. Not to mention a very engaging, sociable and cheeky gal. Now, without her I feel terribly lost.. and horribly miserable.
I thought I could handle it. But I still get emotional whenever I think about you. I was afraid to cry, afraid to show my sadness in the public.. even in front of you. But I let out at the last moment and I want you to know that my heart is breaking over and over again.
I'm sorry there were times I was mad at you for small issues. I'm sorry I scolded you when you were 12 years old - greatly traumatized and you avoided me for so many years. I'm sorry if I made you feel like a kid or even made snide remarks at you.
I'm aware of how you feel, any tiniest emotions flashed across your face never escape my eyes but most of the times I refuse to acknowledge them because I am selfish-selfish-selfish..
Now that you're gone, words are just words..
Cliff said you'll be back, definitely, you'll come back.
I hope so........
*I MISS U*
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