SETBACKS

On a fine working day in my cosy cubicle, I was trying to find the lyrics of a particular song in Bridget Jones soundtrack. After some intense searchings, I managed to find the website. Full of joy and anticipation, I clicked on anything that popped out from the website that prevented me from advancing into the lyric's page. Suddenly a series of installations took place by themselves, things happened so fast that when TrendOffice showed up with spot-on viruses, my mind was still focused on getting the lyrics. And that was the beginning of my struggle with spywares.
Let's not go to the part where panic started to take full control of my nerve system, the futile attempts in restoring my computer, the four-days' overtime in the office battling with the viruses alone and tens of email exchanges with computer centre's techs.
From the above sentence you would have agreed that these efforts should be given an A-Distinction in theory but pathetically, no positive results were produced. Finally my ego crumbled and I begged for the tech's help.
He came, inspected my ailing computer and ended my misery within an hour's time. He reformatted my C drive.
Please imagine my feelings.. all the nail-bitings and hair-pullings for the trouble a website had caused for the entire wipeout.
I HATE SPYWARES FOREVER AND EVER.
Not to forget, I am not going to find that worthless piece of lyrics anymore.

Anyway just for your information, I didn't ace the job interview. In fact, I screwed it. Maybe the word 'screw' shouldn't be used during that critical moment, which I did. Well, if they can't appreciate my admirable courage for being unpretentious, then SCREW THEM.
After such traumatic experience in being rejected without given any clear answer, I want to buffer off my bottled feelings by drafting up some Q&As that often occur in job interviews.
Here goes:

Q1. Tell me about yourself.
A1. My name is Agnes, born in 1977. My dad is a businessman, mom a housewife. Erh..wait. You're holding my resume, aren't you? Turn to page two. Yes there.. my introduction. You can refer from there, can't you? My my, you didn't do any preparation before meeting me?

Q2. Briefly describe your current jobscope.
A2. I wish I don't have to remind you again. It's all stated in my resume. If this is one of the sly tricks to test my consistencies, nice try. Resumes are submitted for employers' reference, so work on it, will ya?

Q3. Why do you want to leave your present job?
A3. I was advised not to speak ill of my boss, my colleagues and my company. But I feel that my grievances should be heard whenever someone ask for them. If you can just spare half an hour of your time for this answer...

Q4. In your current job, what is the greatest achievement you had accomplished?
A4. Well, over the years I have accumulated 50GB of songs and movies from Kazaa and stored them into a hard drive to serve as a database for my colleagues to download as and when they like.

Q5. What do you know about our company?
A5. I did my own read up before coming to this interview. But since interview happens between two individuals who have a common interest to know more about one another, isn't it right for you to answer your own question, instead of hammering me with so many oxymoranic questions?

Q6. Why do you think we should hire you?
A6. Because you and I are spending an hour or more here, not doing anything that's constructive which means, wasting our time trying to know each other in a so-called professional way, checking each other's facial expressions, clothings, mannerisms discreetly. I'm sure you'll agree this is time-wasting. So let's cut the crap and hire me right now.

Q7. Where do you see yourself in five years' time?
A7. Simple. I'll be your replacement in a year or so, kick the director's arse when it came to the fifth year. What follows on will be attending countless interviews like the one we're having now.

Q8. Briefly tell me some of your strengths and weaknesses.
A8. I'm as good as an interviewer asking difficult questions and I'm as bad as an interviewee lying throughout the session just to make herself look good in all aspects.

Q9. Do you have any hobbies?
A9. Yes, bitching with fellow colleagues on our boss.

Q10. What is your expected salary?
A10. It's stated in my cover letter, so you can take a moment and read it again, well, that is if you have ever read it before. By the way, though I had stated it is negotiable, I wouldn't expect you to cut half a dough off and give excuses like I don't have the experience or skillsets for the job. If you want me, the money is worth it. No pain no gain. No guts no glory.