BROKEN WINGS
Just got news : Cliff's friends have often joked that I'm tying him down.
His reaction? - Silence.
Not that I expect him to defend, but the real question is WHY IS THERE SUCH A JOKE AND WHY HAS IT BECOME A FREQUENT TOPIC?
I learnt that expectations can make and break a life. Even in relationships, I'm still learning how to let go on issues that are in binds.
I hate to explain myself in order to clear my name, because almost everything can be judged as subjectical perception.
I took some time to reflect...
no, I am not restricting him to anything.
It all boils down to daily routine, isn't it?
Look, I dun have a car - not even a valid local driving licence.
Thus he has to fetch and send me to and fro, 5 days per week.
My friends live in Singapore and I did not manage to hook up with anyone who can always go out with me. Maybe not yet. So I have to hang out with him and sometimes with his friends.
Does anyone know that I'm living under the identity of 'his girlfriend' rather than my individuality? Does anyone understand how lost I feel?
Enough of my ramblings, it just doesn't serve any purpose.
I do not want him to become the butt of losers' jokes, so I shall begin to do things on my own - as much as I can.
Mercy.
5 comments:
Ahhhh... still facing such comments from ppl eh!... They are morons... just dun bother. I have a few queues for you though.. :) later!
yeah.. and I thought it's the other way round.
seems like I dun have much say over many things, if you observe.
Guess time will tell more about this. Dun hv to wory at all as long as he knows u r not, aint it. Fark all the morons and live ur life happily in this foreign land, life is too short babe.....enjoy.
Yes, I have tracked down your blog. You have connected to my blog which has been tracked, logged, investigated and traced back to here (the internet is such a secure place isn't it?) I will set a link on mine shortly so that all of my bored friends around the world can read about your intimate details... :p
As for this post... its tough to feel like you are living in someones shadow... I know coz I lost someone who was very important to me for pretty much that reason. That said, its also a bit of a state of mind issue too.. quite often its you who sees yourself in their shadow rather than the people around you.
I think you are a bit of a gem in your own right. While i met you through Cliff, I think that as an individual you are a funny, interesting and generally pretty cool sort of person... someone that i'd be happy to hang out with ... and that is high praise comming from me, coz there arent that many girls in Malaysia that I say that about. So dont let it get you down... be yourself... the people that like you for who you are (and not who you go out with) will become pretty obvious to you... the others are just wankers and therefore you shouldnt worry about them.
Take it easy, and enjoy the upcomming weekend :)
Aiks, I got caught.
Didn't know investigation was needed :P
I love your last paragraph, compliments after compliments! (flowers in full bloom on a sunny day - tat defines my mood when i read it)
Thanks RWeirdo.. really appreciate it. I guess I still need time to adapt. And ditto - love hangin out with ya. It's my pleasure :)
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